Changes a-Comin' to AKB48

I may as well just put all this recent AKB48 news into one hodgepodge post. None of them warrant individual posts, and all are upcoming events that I may or may not write further upon in the future.

So let's start with the biggest news: Team 8! Yes, Aki-P has finally decided to complete AKB48 by adding a Team 8. Not only that, this Team 8 will consist of one girl from each of the 47 prefectures in Japan, making it the biggest team in the group. Team 8 will also be sponsored by Toyota, the first team to do so. As with any big AKB48 announcement, this one has been met with mixed opinions. I am honestly not that surprised about Team 8, not as much as I was for Team 4. Besides, didn't Aki-P imply at some point that he had plans to make a Team 8? I think that was before the original Team 4 folded, but I can't remember specifics. But so much has happened since the first formation of Team 4, no wonder I've forgotten about the possibility of Team 8. But now it's coming, and hopefully Team 8 will actually last this time, along with Team 4. Like with Team 4, reactions to creation of a Team 8 have been thoroughly mixed. Honestly, I don't care that much about Team 8.

The problem with AKB48 is that anytime they add new members, it's not a big deal the same way it is in smaller groups. Because we're probably gonna hear about only two of the forty-something girls being added to Team 8, because there is no way in hell every single one of those team members is making it to Senbatsu. In a weird way, AKB48's size is both its defining trait and its weakness, because they'll always be seen as a giant product, never really for the individual members that make up the group. Or maybe that's just me being partial to smaller groups. Either way, I could care less about the new Team 8 or the girls who get into it. What I do think is kind of strange is having a company sponsor the team. Like will Team 8's songs have blatant product placement in them or...? I don't know, very likely the partnership with Toyota is for one thing: MONEY! Money, money, money, it is the reason we exist and the reason Aki-P is going to keep milking every penny (or should I say yen?) out of AKB48 until the general public is absolutely sick of them! Toyota will make money, Team 8 will make money, AKS will make money, wotas will spend more money, everybody wins!

Speaking of lineup changes AKB48 is having another team shuffle later this month, their third one overall. The group's last team shuffle was in August of 2012, putting over a year between that one and the upcoming one. Admittedly, the last one took me by surprise; I wasn't a fan around the time of the 2009 shuffle so the 2012 shuffle was my first. And I recall not being very happy about it, mainly because of the entire surreality of the event. This time though, I am actually... looking forward to the shuffle. I guess because so many members have left that I'm legitimately curious to see who's going to what team. Like will the captains remain the same or will new girls be promoted? Yui was promoted to Team A captain fairly recently, and it seems odd to shove her out of that position so quickly. Same goes for Miichan in Team 4. Then again, Yuko's leaving so Team K will need a captain to fill her void. Actually, AKS might need more than just a captain to fill the void Yuko's leaving behind, but we'll see. Team K does need more Senbatsu members; Yuko's pretty much the only member representing Team K in Senbatsu as of now. Every other popular member either transferred or graduated; it's kind of sad.

I think the lack of recognizable faces in Team K is one of the reasons for this team shuffle. After all, it's much easier for AKS to put already popular members in Team K than actually, pfft, promote members of Team K. That would be way too much effort! But yeah, I think most of the team shuffle is going to be conveniently switching all the popular girls out into different teams to even the Senbatsu representation out. Team A and Team B are getting a little crowded... Even that is the case, I'm still looking forward to the shuffle. Because I'm bored with AKB48. So very bored. And the team shuffle will provide for a blissful distraction from the group's bland music and excessive graduations. Maybe the shuffle will even freshen AKB48 up a bit! It'll at least be interesting to see different members performing the team songs and being in different team PVs.

And then there's Oshima Yuko. The news of Yuko's graduation is old news by now, but AKB48's upcoming Sakura single has been revealed as Yuko's last. Furthermore, she will graduate on March 30 at AKB48's concert in the National Olympic Stadium. Seems pretty appropriate for Yuko. I always expected her to graduate with a bang, and the National Olympic Stadium is just about as banging as an idol concert can get. Mae Shika Mukanee, Yuko's graduation song, also has a decent amount of bang to it, much more than So Long! did at least. In fact, this is the first AKB48 song I've actually enjoyed in... awhile. It isn't amazing, oh no, there are many parts of this song that still need fixing. Like the awkward male background vocals and the subdued chorus, just to name a few. But Mae Shika Mukanee still feels like a song where a little more effort was put into than AKB48's past few A-sides. At least it's energetic! I'll talk more about the song when I actually write a review for the PV. Anyways, I wouldn't have liked to see Yuko go out on a downer of a song; it just wouldn't fit the image she had in AKB48.

To me, Yuko's signature song will always be Heavy Rotation, but Mae Shika Mukanee still suits her nicely. In fact, it has a pretty similar sound to Heavy Rotation; both songs teeter on bland, but have enough spark and energy to avoid boring me. A PV preview has also been released for Mae Shika Mukanee, but who knows when the full PV will actually be released. At least we know it's before the end of the month! From the forty-five second preview on AKB48's Youtube channel, I am not impressed with this PV so far. The background looks way too dark for such a bright, peppy song, and why does it look like a dumpster? It doesn't help the the girls are wearing outfits that look like they were constructed out of Capri Sun juice pouches. I guess they look kind of cool, but I still hope there's more to the PV than just the dance. Preferably not a cliched drama storyline about graduation either. I always wonder why anyone can't get a graduation single like Acchan did for Manatsu no Sounds good! How cool would that be?

So in summary, a graduation is happening, a single is getting released, and a group is getting shuffled. You know, nothing new for AKB48. Or is it? I don't know why, but I get the feeling that this is the year that AKB48 is finally going to start declining. I know I probably said that last year, but something about this year makes me think that it really is going to start happening. By no means do I think their sales will plummet overnight or anything, but I think after Yuko leaves, the fall of AKB48 is going to be a slow one. It'll be slow, subtle, and no one will realize for quite some time that it's happening. And then one day we'll all wake up, as if from a dream, and see that AKB48 is no more. Won't that be surreal? I've never really thought about what the idol industry will be like when AKB48 is no longer around. I haven't thought about that much for any idol groups I follow actually... After all, things can't last forever. There will be a time when all the groups I blog about will be gone. Eugh, what a bleak thought. This was just supposed to be a little news post about random AKB48 stuff, not an existential revelation about the necessity for things to come to an end. Eh... what was I talking about again? Ah yes! Graduations! Singles! Idols! Yeah! Clearly, I need sleep...

A Frivolous Name Change and a Triple A-side

Ah, I'm finally done with finals! All my projects are done, my books are turned in, I've taken all my exams, and I can get back to what I love doing: blogging! And now it's with the comfort of having good grades for the fall semester! It's like I've emerged from a deep, tumultuous sleep only to wake up and read all this exciting idols news! So what to start with... Well, Perfume isn't doing much other than touring and performing the new songs and I'm not there and why has such misfortune befallen me and okay let's talk about something else! Like Hello! Project! Boy, I haven't talked about Hello! Project in awhile! Seriously, I've been pretty lax on my H!P reviews lately. It's not like I haven't been liking any of their recent releases... I guess I just haven't found much to talk about them. That and I do have more important things I want to review. And the fact that the only thing H!P has been releasing are double A-sides does not help. I've been over this, but reviewing double A-sides PVs is a pain and an inconvenience for me. Still, I wonder what exciting things have been happening to Morning Musume! They're an idol group that hasn't been pissing me off lately! So what are they up to? What's that, you say? Tsunku changed Morning Musume's name? Well, clearly this needs to be written about with utmost importance, because this is just going to impact the group's future so much and yeah this is the dumbest news ever.

As such, I believe that dumb news doesn't deserve my fruitful writing efforts. So I'll keep this brief. Whip out the A-chan pic!

Why is it that reaction image is appropriate for so many things I write about? Well, Tsunku, you almost managed to bring me out of my studying. Almost. Give yourself a pat on the back. And lay off the eggnog, because you must have been on it when you got the bright idea to give Morning Musume a pointless name change. You all probably know about the entire Morning Musume 14 fiasco, and it's my fault for blogging about this so late. Yeah, Tsunku, in another one of his genius moments, decided starting 2014 Morning Musume would not longer be Morning Musume! Relax, he's not changing their name to MM48 or something ludicrous like that. No, it's just Morning Musume '14. According to Tsunku logic, which rarely relies on the logic of humankind, trying to remember when Momusu released what is way too confusing for fans. So to keep up with their releases, each year the groups name will match the year. So 2014 is Morning Musume '14, 2015 is Morning Musume '15, 2048 is... well, I won't force that joke upon you since you've probably heard it several times now. You get the gist of it.

As you may have noticed, fan reactions to this have been... not very positive. That's not to say everybody hates it; there are people who are okay with this change and people who just don't give a shit. I think I'm more in the latter category. I mean, if Tsunku renamed the group to be like, I don't know, Electro Girls, then I might take issue, but all he's doing is adding two numbers to the end of their name. And it's not like I'm going to start writing the group's name as Morning Musume '14 in my future reviews. For the past two years, I've tagged all my Momusu posts as "morning musume" so there's no way that I'm going to up and do some random name change to any future Momusu posts I might write. Even this post uses the same tag I've been using. Just because Tsunku changed Momusu's name doesn't mean I'm going to abide by it. I guess you could say I'm rebellious like that. Or lazy. Probably lazy. My point is the change is in no way going to effect the current way I write Morning Musume's name.

From Blog Project is the official translation of Tsunku's statement regarding his decision to change Morning Musume's name:

"Truly, thank you very much for always supporting Morning Musume。 as well as Hello! Project.
I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude.

Well then、 without delay、 this is an announcement regarding Morning Musume。.

I would like to alter how Morning Musume。 is addressed as a group.
Morning Musume。、 from 1st January 2014 , will have their group name changed into 「Morning Musume。 ’14」.
It will be read as 「Morning Musume One Four」.

Being rechristened in 2014 after 17 years of being 「Morning Musume。」、
For the sake of the group continuing on for 10, 20, 30 years from now on
「The single of the song entitled ○○○○, when was that song from！？」 or 「○○-san、 which age of Morning Musume was she from？」
I think such simple questions can be easily answered by distinguishing them with the 「year」 address.

Accordingly, the plan is to address them as 「Morning Musume。’15（Morning Musume One Five）」 from 1st January 2015.

Well、we’ll try to go ahead with this and if it turns out to be confusing、 we might give it up、（lol）
At any rate、  from the beginning of the new year to the extent of supporting the girls who have become 「Morning Musume。’14」 、 by all means please treat them well！

Morning Musume。’14′s 55th single will be on sale 29th January 2014.
From now、it’s the start of a fresh sensation！

6th December 2013
Morning Musume。 Producer
Tsunku♂"

I don't know why, but his reasoning behind the name change makes me feel like my intelligence is being insulted. Do people really have that hard of a time figuring out when each Morning Musume single was released? I think if I, a foreign teenage girl who knows like ten Japanese words, can keep up with Morning Musume's releases, so can the rest of their Japanese fans. And even if I can't, Wikipedia exists for a reason. I think his reasons behind the name change are really flimsy, and this entire thing just feels like a publicity stunt, the same way the ridiculously long title of AKB48's Janken single is. But I will deal with that song later. Anyways, this entire name change feels really super pointless. Because the name isn't even going to stick! In 2015, Morning Musume '14 will become Morning Musume '15 and so on. So why change the name if it's just going to keep changing? Another thing is that changing Morning Musume's name feels like a severe dissociation from their music of the past.

I know Tsunku's on this whole "Forget the old Morning Musume!" kick, but I think changing the group's name is going just a little bit too far. If you really want people to forget the old Morning Musume so much, then stop performing old Momusu's songs at concerts. In fact, don't even mention their older songs. When someone asks you about Love Machine, just say "What Love Machine? Morning Musume never released a Love Machine!" According to Tsunku, the name change might not even stick if it becomes too confusing. I personally don't think it's confusing, just frivolous and unnecessary. I am hoping though that it does end up being too confusing and the group's name goes back to Morning Musume. I'm not some raging traditionalist who believes that any changes made to Morning Musume are the work of the devil, but this entire thing is just so pointless. Even if the name change sticks, I'm not bothering to use it. I'll stick to being a nonconformist and a rebel! Ha! So yeah, pointless news is pointless and this name change is stupid. So glad we had this talk, guys!

Oh yeah, and Morning Musume is releasing a new single! Is it a double A-side? No? Thank the Lord Gaki, it's finally happened! A single that doesn't have two freaking A-sides I'll need to... what's that you say? It's... a triple A-side? ...no. This is... this is just a joke, right? Unfortunately, it's not. Morning Musume's (or Morning Musume '14's) first A-side of 2014 is a triple A-side consisting of What Is Love?, the J-melo song, Kimi no Kawari wa Iyashinai, the Olympics song, and Ego no Kimi wa Taiyou sa, the... song song. As happy as I am that What Is Love? is getting a release, I am not happy that it's going to be a giant triple A-side that's going to have three separate PVs that I'm gonna have to review and... ugh. The great thing about singles with more than one A-side is the rarity. It's like a little treat that gives me the opportunity to review more than one song by an artist I really like. But when they start getting released one after the other in one giant stream of double A-sides, the appeal starts to lose its luster.

It's a huge pain trying to review double A-side PVs, which is why I've been so lax on reviewing many of H!P's PVs lately. But enough about that. I really am happy that What Is Love? is finally getting a release; it's a really good song! I was hoping it would be featured as an A-side on a Morning Musume single! As for the other two A-sides, I have no idea about them, but I can pretty safely guess that both are going to be more electropop. I guess I don't mind that much, as long as it's good electropop. I'll just have to wait until January, but maybe we'll get to hear one of the two new A-sides this month! That would be nice, especially since I'm spending the rest of December enjoying my Christmas break! It really is nice to be done with this semester. And to think this was my last fall semester in high school. Pretty surreal when I think about it. Either way, it's good to be back! Now the holiday festivities can really begin!

Perfume's Releasing ANOTHER Single!?

Have I landed in some alternate universe where Perfume actually announces new singles at a reasonable time!? Someone hold me while I swoon!

What a pleasant surprise! I can't believe that Perfume has already announced a new single; it feels like they just released Mirai no Museum! Or maybe I've just forgotten what it's like for Perfume to release singles between short time gaps. After all, the waiting time between Spending all my time and Mirai no Museum was six months. Half a freaking year! It's no wonder I feel so shocked that another single announcement hit us so soon! But hey, I'm not complaining! I freaking love it when Perfume announces a new single! That means I can get ready for a whole different era of Perfumania! I get to be all excited over the single covers, the song itself, the PV, the B-sides... I just love Perfumania so much, even if it is a little hard to wait at times! What's exciting about this single is the hope that for once it won't be a song that splits the Perfume fandom down the middle so severely! I mean yeah, I know that the fans aren't going to have the same opinion on each song but it feels like so many fans were underwhelmed and disappointed by Mirai no Museum! I'm hoping that this single is a vast improvement so we can all pretend that Mirai no Museum never happened!

Anyways, the fabulous techno trio's next single will be released some time in the summer (the date hasn't been specified yet but I hope it's in June or July). I'm thinking the single will probably be released a few weeks after Perfume wraps up their collaboration tour between those other three artists whose names I'm too lazy to type out. The single is called Magic of Love (gee, have you ever heard that song title before?) and the A-side is being used as a tie-in for Kanro Gummi! Now last time Perfume did a tie-in for that company, the song was Communication and... let's just say not many people were too fond of that song. What I'm crossing my fingers for is that Magic of Love will be a song that has a general positive opinion towards it; Spending all my time and Mirai no Museum split the fandom down the middle and you had two extreme opinions on opposite sides. Now, I just want a Perfume song that sounds like... well, Perfume! Nothing like Spending all my time or Mirai no Museum which sounded too un-Perfume-y; just a good ol' typical Perfume song to balance out the strange mix of A-sides we've had this era!

So far the only preview we've gotten from this single is from the Kanro CM and you can hear 15 seconds of Magic of Love. It doesn't give you too much of an idea as to how the song is going to sound but it's nice to at least hear the tone of this new song! And personally, I like Magic of Love so far! The song definitely isn't as unique as Hurly Burly or Point but I like the sound of it! I like that it doesn't sound cute; I think Mirai no Museum was too cute, along with Communication. Actually, Magic of Love kind of reminds me of a song I'd hear by Meg, another artist that Nakata worked with for a period of time. Then again, that might just be because I've been listening to a lot of Meg's music lately... Overall, I think I'll have to wait until I hear the full song to give a proper verdict. For now, it's not the most amazing Perfume song I've heard but it's just a regular Perfume song in that Perfume style that I've heard several times in the past! Again, that's not a bad thing since I like that style a lot but some fans might be disheartened at the lack of experimentation. But personally, I think Perfume just needs to do a song that takes less musical chances just to balance out all the wonky-ness of the last three singles of this era!

Speaking of this era... I wonder if we're going to get an album after Magic of Love. I don't want another JPN scenario where there are way too many singles and B-sides crammed on an album and not enough new album songs. I was actually kind of hoping that Perfume would be doing an album after they released Mirai no Museum but I guess I can't complain too much about a new single! I'm still hoping that this year they'll release an album in like October or November though. All I can do now is wait... and honestly, that's the hardest part of Perfumania. I just hope that after hearing this Cm we'll get to hear more of the song in a proper period of time and not have to wait four months like we did with Point. In general, I don't want to wait too long for information on this new single. Still, summer's getting close and so is the new Perfume single and I can't wait!

Be both excited and terrified readers, because Perfumania is a-coming to the Wonderland! I don't know when but it'll be here soon and I can't wait to spend another month of this year gushing about the forever-awesome Perfume!

Brainstorming Why Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai Exists

No seriously, why? Is there anyone out there who feels like if this song was never released, Morning Musume as we know it now would be incomplete?

Was there a problem UFP had with Brainstorming? Did they say "Mr. Tsunku, your Brainstorming song is adequate but we feel it needs more high notes that half the girls can't hit. Make another song or you're fired!" And so Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai was born. I do not know what to make of this song. I've listened to it several times; I'm even listening to it right now as I'm typing this post but I cannot develop a solid opinion on this song. Sometimes, it sounds good, sometimes it sounds awful and most of the time it sounds straight-up weird. This song is an enigma and not a good one either. I mean, the song isn't... bad. But it doesn't have me falling to the ground singing sweet Hallelujahs like Brainstorming did. As much as I listen to this song, I can't really get into it despite it being yet another electropop song. Momosu's been on an electropop high lately and I think the style works well for them but Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai is... not a good electropop song.

The biggest problem I have with Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai is that it's really messy. It's a wreak of different sounds and unlike Help me!! those different sounds don't blend together very well. The song feels like a bunch of different parts of songs were mashed together because Tsunku didn't know what kind of song he wanted to make. We have the weird-ass opening verses that are Autotuned to hell (which I loathe by the way) and then a perfectly normal chorus that sounds like it came from a pretty normal Momusu song. And then Tsunku's random background vocals strike again repeating "2000 people on the dance floor" (which by the way, there are only eleven girls on the dance floor). Yeah, I think that part's annoying but I'm always annoyed by Tsunku's voice. Each part of the song feels distinct from the other parts, which doesn't really work at all. The song feels choppy and like more of a song demo than a completed song that's going to be released as part of a double A-side.

And then there are the vocals. I found the vocals in Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai to be just as weird and hit-or-miss as the song! Particularly the Autotune. I always say that Autotune can be used for both good and evil. It can be used to enhance a singer's voice for artistic purposes (such as Perfume and Kyarypamyupamyu) and when done well, the tool can work nicely. But here, the Autotune used on the girl's voices is done for more artistic reasons but it isn't done well. The vocals in the opening verses are way too Autotuned and don't flow smoothly with the instrumental, or even the rest of the song. I think the Autotune in Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai is even more gratuitous than the Autotune used in One Two Three! The rest of the vocals are pretty hit-or-miss; Mizuki sounds fine and even Ayumi sounds decent but oh Riho, why do they keep giving you high notes? Her voice sounds like a poor imitation of Reina's in this song. As for Reina the graduation girl herself, she sounds fine and I think the pitch of the song is clearly meant for her. She sounds very comfortable hitting the high notes that no one else in the group can hit properly in this song.

Oddly enough Haruna of all girls gets a brief amount of vocal exposure in this song along with Sayumi. The two of them share little Autotuned "Wow oh~!" lines preceding the chorus that sound okay. I'm just surprised that Haruna got a teensy little vocal push since I didn't think she was that popular. Maybe she's being groomed to take on the role Sayu has in the group once Sayu graduates. She's too Autotuned for me to judge how her voice sounds but she sounds bearable along with Sayu. As for Eripon, Haruka and Zukki, I hope you're not a fan of any of them because you don't get to hear them at all in this song! Don't you just love when that happens? Eh heh... yeah, I'm not surprised. Well, I still can't figure out why Haruka's being constantly shafted but oh well.

So back to my original question: why does this song exist? Brainstorming is a kickass song that I can't find any faults with; why does there need to be another A-side? It'll only pale in comparison to Brainstorming and believe me Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai doesn't have shit on Brainstorming. Was the other A-side necessary? Well... I think UFP wanted a song that was more Reina-centric and focused around her graduating. But honestly, I feel like Reina gets the same amount of exposure in Brainstorming that she does in Kmi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai; she's leading both songs and has an on-again, off-again center spot that she switches back and forth with Riho. Well, there are the bright yellow costumes which could be considered a throwback to Ambitious Yashinteki de Ii Jan, the first Momusu single in which she had a center spot. I don't know if that's necessarily true but if so, that is a nice little shout-out, even if the costumes from the single looked like paper bags painted yellow.

The outfits for Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai look much better but I still prefer Brainstorming's costumes. The problem is... they're yellow. Like super yellow. I like the color yellow in small quantities but in the dance shot released for this song, the girls look like dancing highlighters. I do like the styling of the costumes though; the girls look a lot like flappers! I honestly think that if there had been a dance with more movement, the dresses would have looked really cool in motion. But... the dance in Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai has less movement and more... marching! It looks okay I guess; I'm not really one to judge dances but even I can see that Brainstorming pwns the dance to Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai like everything else revolving around this goddamn song. Overall, I still think Brainstorming kicks ass and is a near-flawless song that I can't wait to review once the actual PV comes out. Once the Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai PV comes out, I'll probably just parrot much of what I said here.

Well, I'm sure that Reina fans will be happy that there's not only one A-side but two A-sides for her last single, along with her own solo track. You know, I feel like this graduation single is paralleling Takahashi Ai's graduation single a lot: the single is a double A-side, the girl graduating gets her own solo song... Just think guys: this is it! This is the last single before we never have to hear Tanaka Reina in a Morning Musume song again! I know I sound like a heartless biatch but... I'm so excited! Even if Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai is a weird-ass song it can't bring down the giddiness I'm developing for Reina's graduation! So to sum this mini-post all up: Brainstorming > Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai and I'm happy this single is a double A-side!

Kyary Learns the Ways of the Ninja

Has a day really come when I like a Kyarypamyupamyu release better than a Perfume release? I'm afraid it has, readers. As much as I hate to admit it... I like Ninjari Bang Bang better than Mirai no Museum and that really makes me angry.

Wasn't Kyary releasing a single a month and a half ago? Is it really time to release yet another single after such a short period of time when I had to wait six months for Perfume's next single? I mean don't get me wrong, Ninjari Bang Bang kicks ass. Even the title of the song kicks ass. The song is awesome and I don't know why but the fact that it's awesome and Mirai no Museum was not has me miffed! I guess I'll just have to accept that Nakata's shiny new toy is no longer Perfume but that ain't gonna be easy for me. Well, I'm not a completely sore loser. I am happy that Kyary is getting good music and I'm happy that she's been able to carve a style and niche for herself since PonPonPon! Even if you don't like her music, I think anyone can appreciate that she does have a distinctly weird style influenced by Harajuku that translates well onto music videos. Her songs are usually pretty entertaining and mostly sugar sweet... but Ninjari Bang Bang is kind of an exception.

For me personally, Kyarypamyupamyu has always been the idol that I listen to when Perfume hasn't come out with anything new and I'm craving some technopop. Sure, her style is much cuter than Perfume's but you can definitely the influence of Nakata in each artist's songs. So... it's kind of like listening to Perfume? Agh, even I can't interpret my own logic! What I've noticed with Kyary's singles is that except for PonPonPon, they're all been pretty polarizing. Some people think her follow-up songs are awesometacular and a continuation of the cute style she presented in PonPonPon while others think her songs all sound the same and that she's just a one-trick pony. And then there's everyone in between but I won't elaborate much on them! Personally, I've always felt Kyary's songs are very hit-or-miss for me but for the most part, even the songs I'm not too fond of are still pretty likable. I guess I just accepted that much like Perfume is never releasing another edge, she is never going to release another PonPonPon. Now if only I could do the same thing with Perfume's edge...

So how does Ninjari Bang Bang hold up on the Kyary scale? In my opinion, Ninjari Bang Bang is an effing awesome song.

Maybe I'm just fond of a song that has the word "bang" in its title. What can I say? That's one of my favorite words! It's so much fun to say out loud! Anyways, Ninjari Bang Bang has many elements of your typical Kyary song in that it's pretty cutesy, the chorus is repetitive and insane catchy, and it's technopop at is most sugary. So if you're a fan of Kyary and enjoy that cuter style of technopop, this song is your utopia. Because while Ninjari Bang Bang is for the most part pretty typical when it comes to the vocals, the instrumental is where the song stands out. The opening build-up to the chorus is the best part of the song because the instrumental totally grabs you. It's like Nakata took traditional Japanese music (or at least the stereotype of it) and twisted it into this electro-fied style to fit Kyary's style and it works. I love the opening in this song and I totally can't wait until I can get my hands on the instrumental of Ninjari Bang Bang. Beyond the opening, the song also has other elements of that "typical" Japanese classical, particularly in the parts between the verses and chorus. There's even a few gong sounds thrown in at the end of the song!

The best way for me to describe the instrumental is the type of music you'd hear in a show like Avatar: The Last Airbender or Samurai Jack; hell, the song's title translates to "Ninja Bang Bang." Historically speaking, Japanese ninjas date back centuries ago (though their modern day interpretation is... very different from the historically accurate image). I think that's why I like Ninjari Bang Bang so much; it's a cute song but it's an interesting song to listen to because of the spin on that traditional Japanese music. Or the stereotype of traditional Japanese music because I'm more than certain that there's a lot more to it than just the musical style represented in this song. Unlike other Kyary songs, Ninjari Bang Bang is one of the... edgier songs in a sense but I'm speaking in terms of Kyary music. Edgy Kyarypamyupamyu music is cute Perfume music. Overall, Ninjari Bang Bang rocks and I secretly wish Mirai no Museum could have rocked as much as this song did.

You win this round, Kyary. But let me assure you, Perfume will be back to totally kick ass on whatever they release next! MWAHAHAHA- yeah, I'm getting carried away with this. Let's just look at the weird and out-there PV that I'm 100% certain that Ninjari Bang Bang has.

Well, I guess it wouldn't be a Kyary PV without some weird-ass imagery to start!

Kyary announces she's taking over the world with her giant pet koi and making it KAWAII!!!!

You know, if Kyary's supposed to a ninja I don't think that's the most subtle outfit to wear...

The fish agrees with me.

If Kyary can't take over the world with cute, she'll take it over through spraying PERFUME! Not the techno trio Perfume, real perfume!

Nothing more fun than striking a ninja pose in midair!

Is this jump reminding anyone else of the PonPonPon jump?

Yeah, I hope you like green screens because in case you haven't noticed yet, this is pretty much what the PV consists of.

Nice hairdo, it's a cool combination of traditional and kawaii.

So I guess the green-screen robots are substituting as backup dancers... I think I miss the live-action ones.

Oh hey, I've seen this effect before...

...in the simpler but totally effing awesome Computer City using real people instead of green screen robots!

I think Kyary would probably kick ass in a game of Ninja!

Well that's not creepy at all.

Watch out Kyary! A little higher and that giant blast would have hurt!

Okay, the green screen in this shot is actually pretty cool.

I took A-chan's rocket from Mirai no Museum and gave it an upgrade, BITCHES!

Nice to know that defeating evil robot heads can be done with violence! Wonderful, kawaii violence!

Now Kyary can get back to her ninja dance!

Rawr, fear the mighty hand-puppet!

Perfume's not gonna shoot me with a laser beam for getting a better song than them, right?

Yeah, PonPonPon had a trippier close-up than this PV does.

Kyary's gonna take you down in the air, ninja style.

Along with her army of ninja-bots!

Kyary, I think you need to lay off the drugs; the bench is not an instrument.

Kyarypamyupamyu: so powerful she can slice the moon. THE MOON!!!!!!!!

Being this kawaii is exhausting. Naptime!

Kyary's watching you...

Oh, I always feel like there's at least one awesome facial expression in every Kyary PV!

Kyary plays that bench like Beethoven played the piano!

1, 2, 3 STRIKE A NINJA POSE!

And Kyary finally passes out after a hard day of learning to be a kawaii ninja. The end!

Well. That was surprisingly simplistic for a Kyary PV. Compared to other PVs by other artists, it's still pretty out there but I was surprised at how little there was to offer. Like... I'm not sure how to put this... there wasn't as much stuff going on in this PV that I've seen in her other PVs. Like PonPonPon and Fashion Monster and Tsukema Tsukeru all offered eye-catching visuals left and right and new stuff popped up in each shot. With Ninjari Bang Bang, you're pretty much presented with four different scenes: the opening where Kyary rides a fish, the bits where she dances with the robots, the kimono shots, and the bit where she defeats the giant robot head from hell. I know that sounds like a lot but half of these scenes don't even take up that much of the PV and you're mostly stuck with the dancing and "ninja" shots and the kimono scenes. And while at first both those scenes are pretty eye-popping with the use of bright colors, they feel a little bit repetitive after awhile, particularly the kimono scenes.

I wouldn't say I got completely bored with the PV but I was surprised at how little the PV had to offer by Kyary standards in terms of visual variety. Something else I feel that both helped and hurt the PV was the use of green screens. There were parts where it felt pretty cool, like the brief fight scene between Kyary and the robot head, and then other parts where it felt kind of forced like the dance scenes. The green screen used in the PV isn't very elaborate and clearly isn't meant to be realistic but more simplistic and cartoonish. When I re-watched the PV paying more attention to the green screens do you know what I was reminded of? Samurai Jack. For you whipper snappers who don't remember this, Samurai Jack was a brilliantly animated kids show about a samurai named, you guessed it, Jack! If you want to know more, watch the damn show because it's effing awesome. But the visual style of Ninjari Bang Bang felt like a much cuter and girlier version of the animation for Samurai Jack in that both use more simplistic animation. Honestly I think the animation works better in Samurai Jack though...

Anyways, beyond the visuals, what about the concept of the PV? After all, this isn't an H!P PV I'm reviewing; Kyary's PVs always have come kind of concept ranging from coming of age to Halloween to expressing that it's okay to be weird and stuff. Well... the song is called Ninjari Bang Bang; I think you and I both know what concept this PV was going for! It's pretty obvious by the ninja-styled outfit Kyary is wearing along with the sword and the numerous amount of ninja poses she makes! I mean seriously, left and right Kyary was jumping in the air and striking ninja poses; it looked really cool! It also made me wonder how she was able to do that since jumping and posing in the air isn't anywhere near as easy as it looks. Maybe she had a trampoline! I don't know but I thought it looked pretty cool. I don't think real-life ninjas dressed anywhere near as adorably as Kyary did in this PV but the imagery presented in the PV is highly reminiscent of your stereotypical ninja. And the kimono scenes also feel like a reference to more traditional imagery, especially by the way Kyary poses with the pillow and little armrest bench thingy!

So while I do like the concept of ninjas and how Ninjari Bang Bang explored it, I feel like the PV only went through it halfway and could have done a lot more. My favorite scene in the Ninjari Bang Bang PV was the battle between Kyary and the robot head but I feel like that was way too short, especially since that head was terrifying to look at. Why not spend the whole PV revolving around Kyary's preparation to battle against the head? Like she goes from being a damsel wearing a kimono at the beginning of the PV but as the video progresses, she trains and learns the ways of a ninja. And at the end of the PV, she has a huge epic battle with the robot head that is won through her mastery of the ways of the ninja. Instead, Kyary defeated the monster head in like two seconds with a giant machine gun. So overall... Ninjari Bang Bang is an okay PV but it could have been better and crazier, especially when it came to the ninja concept. In total, I think I can give this song and PV...

...four out of five apples! Ninjari Bang Bang is a pretty awesome song (if not a little repetitive at times) and I enjoyed the instrumental in particular. The PV is very hit-or-miss and while some parts are really fun to look at, I could have done without some other scenes in the PV and I think the ninja concept could have been explored further. But overall, I think Ninjari Bang Bang is a pretty solid release from Kyary! If only I could have said the same thing about Mirai no Museum...

Oh my Gosh! This Has Nothing to Do with Weather!

This does not compute. I feel like there's something you should know about me that I probably should have emphasized more considering I've been writing on this blog for around a year or so. Well, better late than never, right? I have a very low tolerance for the cutesy-cutesy "We're kawaii-desu sugoii aidorus!! Doki Doki and stuff!!" type of idol group/music. Yes, I admit idol music probably wasn't the best genre for me to follow so intently considering 80% of idol music is pretty much just like that but what can I say? My brain works in strange ways. So yeah, I've never been one for cuteness; there's only so much I can take before I start throwing up rainbows. It might be because I babysit a lot of little girls who watch the most saccharine sweet kids shows (sans MLP: FiM) But every once in a while an impossibly cute, gimmick-y most painfully pandering cliche of a group walks into the room with their cute little skirts and idol-desu!! persona. Instead of rejecting that group and tossing it into the pile of idol groups I will never hear from or care about again, for some unknown reason I fucking love it.  The last group I really felt that way about was Watarirouka Hashiritai 7 but that was mostly because of the omniscient presence of Mayuyu the Fantastic Creeper.

Weather Girls is one of those groups.

To fill you in on exactly who the hell these girls are, they're not only idols; they really are real-life weather girls. Kind of. They dance around a set presenting the weather so I guess that counts a being a weather girl in Taiwan. So yeah, the group is from Taiwan and Koi no Tenki Yohou is their debut single in Japan; I think I saw a picture of them on Arama many moons ago and paid them little to no regard. And maybe I should have because now I'm trapped in this endless loop of sugary sweet idol pop. I mean, I seriously wasn't planning on giving this group two shits but then I listened to the PV and oh my god I love this so much even though it's so cliched. It's like... Watarirouka Hashiritai 7 meets Kara meets Shoujo Jidai meets the Smile Dip from Gravity Falls. And I am loving every minute of it and I have absolutely no idea why. I think it might just be the impossibly high amount of energy an peppiness energy generating from this song. Even for songs I dislike, if a song has energy, I can still like it to some degree. And considering this song it bursting over the top with energy, I suppose it only makes sense that I would gravitate toward it! I swear, I don't know what these girls are on but whatever it is, I want some of it! And the song itself is so much fun to listen to; the verses have this very mischievous sound to them while the chorus sounds much sweeter and the two balance out and make this surprisingly awesome song. Another selling point of the song is that it is so. Very. Catchy. It has a few random snippets of English (like "Oh my oh my oh my gosh!!" and "So I say") and even a few simple Japanese phrases I can't butcher. When you have that in a song, there's no doubt about it that it's going to be in my head for a least a week. I have no idea how well their Japanese pronunciation is but they sound cohesive to me and I'm happy that they released an original song instead of a just something recycled like some groups that shall not be named.

But I still don't understand how is it I can latch on to this song so much when there are hundreds of other idol groups with this same schtick that will probably never catch my eye. Don't get me wrong, this song is a lot of fun and I praise it for having so much energy and enthusiasm but it's nothing special. It's not Electro World or Keibetsu Shiteita Aijou or even Kataomoi Finally. Actually... maybe songs like that are the reason I'm enjoying this song so much. Koi no Tenki Yohou is the opposite of the music I consistently listen to and when I spend a lot of time focused on that style of music I like best, I can get tired of it. And with the disappointment I had for UZA, maybe a cute, generic song that's the epitome of diabetically sweet idol music was just what I needed. It's a breath of fresh air from all the current music I've been listening because it's different for me. A lot of idol fans have probably heard this musical style a lot before but as someone who tends to ignore it, I find myself loving this song every time I listen to it and I can't stop myself. I have been sucked into the pink world of frilly idol music and I don't think I want to get out. Just listening to this song puts a smile on my face and makes me want to get up and dance. So despite the cliches, the sugary-sweetness, everything that would normally lead me to avoid something like this song like the plague, Koi no Tenki Yohou has proved to be a peppy, surprisingly amazing track. And for the record, the PV is just as cliched as the song. That's why I'm screen capping it!

BWAH! Too... much... pink.

So according to this voice-over guy, they're not Weather Girls; they're Waiter Girls.

I feel like I'm staring at the Barbie-fied version of a bowling alley.

I thought for sure they'd be broadcasting the weather being you know, Weather Girls.

Sweet Jesus, I feel like I'm looking at characters from a burlesque version of Candy Land!

And the record for shortest skirts worn in an idol PV now belongs to Weather Girls! Sorry S/mileage, the newbs brought upon that loss for you.

Ooh, star formation! I'm a sucker for star formations!

But Heroine ni Narou ka had a cooler one...

I'm trying to decide which outfit's worse: the Candy Land stripper outfits or the stipper!Smurf outfits.

Every move is so cliche so why do I enjoy it so much!?

SEE!? I've seen this move a bajillion times before!

Hello? Can we borrow your outfits for our PV? We hate dressing up like Candy Land strippers...

Ahaha, no. We had to dress up as stripper Santa's helpers back in our indie days. I think you'll live.

I wonder if classrooms would be more exciting if they were filled with hot, sexy singers every day.

I swear at first glance, Pigtails here looks like Gyuri from Kara.

That formation would look much cooler if they had better outfits!

Bad CGI snowflakes? Can't they wait until Christmas?

Wow! Where I live, regular classrooms are just about as barren as this one!

What are they doing, stroking imaginary cats?

So that's how this PV tied in a relation to the weather.

She's an airbender!

Yay! We can do sports! Now let's go run a marathon!

And now they're speaking cutesy idol Japanese. Somehow I am completely okay with this.

I'm even okay with the bad CGI hearts.

Those legs must go on for miles!

Maybe for their next PV, they'll dress up like

When you wish upon a heart... it lights up and gives you stripper Candy Land dresses.

Well, this PV was cliched, cheap, had terrible outfits, was painfully gimmicky, and I loved every minute of it. HELP ME. 

I don't have much else to say about the PV since it's pretty much the same schtick I see in a lot of cute idol PVs with just a touch sexier. This PV presents nothing new to the table and I could swap them with pretty much any other idol group on the market right now and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I've seen these same moves, same cute little motions and gimmicks, hell even the set looks like a boatload of other dance sets I've seen. The biggest flaw of the PV though is the costumes that I so relentlessly made fun of in the screen-capping. It's just... they look like strippers from Candy Land! I'm not trying to be funny, they do! I could easily see them plastered on the board! Something about the pink and the corsets and the pink and the mini-petal skirts and did I mention all the pink? Yeah, I really hope you like the color pink when you watch this PV because they're so much of it, it's giving Pepto Bismal a run for its money. The blue outfits are marginally better but they don't work very well for this PV either. I'll give Weather Girls' designer the advice I gave to UFA: simplicity is not always bad. Okay, the sets were simple in this PV and they were pretty dull but that's not always the case! Oh, who am I kidding? Management has as much of a chance of seeing this as I do of meeting Perfume. Anyways, I actually like listening to the song alone over watching the PV but the dance is nice especially if you're a fan of long-legged females. This sure isn't one of the dark songs I'm used to hearing around this time of the year but nonetheless I fucking adore this song so much more than I thought I would. I think eventually I'll come to terms with the fact that I fell for such a tirade of cliched girliness. Maybe not now, but soon.

As for now, Koi no Tenki Yohou gets 3.5 apples out of 5 from me. Your mileage will vary on how much you like the song and you don't have to watch the PV to enjoy the song. The PV adds virtually nothing to the song and the outfits worn in it (sans for the uniforms and office-y outfits) are definitely on the more atrocious side of idol costumes. Truthfully, I pretty much looped the PV and didn't bother watching it just so I could hear the song! Still, I'll have to keep Weather Girls in mind when I'm scouring around for idol news and see if they ever release anything else that piques my interest of if this song was just a one-time thing. As for now, may the girliness and cliches of this song prevail on! ONWARDS AOSHIMA!