Sayumi's Squeaky Swan Song

In the many years and many Morning Musume lineups, the group's had a number of divisive idols. Ishikawa Rika, Kusumi Koharu, Mitsui Aika, those are just a few of the easier ones to pick out. And of course how can I forget the ever-disputed Michishige Sayumi? With a narcissistic persona and a tragically tone-deaf voice, Sayu's reputation as a divisive idol more-or-less became her trademark.

So what a better end to Michishige Sayumi's idol career than a song and music video centered all around her?

Eleven years have led up to this.

Oh yeah. I'm reviewing Shabadabadoo~. Maybe a month too late, but I am giving Sayumi the proper farewell she needs in the only way I know how! Besides, what else am I supposed to say about Tiki Bun and Mikaeri Bijin that can't be summed up in two bullet points?

• I find Tiki Bun not only boring but a dangerous foretelling of Morning Musume's electropop phase growing stale. Also, I feel like the song was improperly titled; "Cheeky Bun" would fit much better.
• So all the younger members sang a farewell song to Sayumi? How sweet. And dull. At least the PV for Tiki Bun had some distracting lighting effects.

I will say, this is a very Sayumi-centered Morning Musume single. Even putting Shabadabadoo~ to the side, the other two A-sides on this single are varying levels of Sayumi-centric. Mikaeri Bijin, despite not even being sung by her, is basically an ode to Sayumi. Ditto for the music video. Tiki Bun is the most normal of the bunch, but even then, Sayumi gets a fair amount of time to shine. Sayumi's heavily featured on two thirds of the covers for this single too. So I hope ya like Michishige Sayumi! If not... wait until 2015. And the crux of this Sayumi Soiree Single is Shabadabadoo~, A-side #2 and Sayumi's solo graduation single. Giving graduating members a solo song became a precedent with Takahashi Ai and has continued since (except Aika because UFP cares little for Aika). Sayumi getting a little number of her own was expected. But was it wanted? Every Momusu fan knows that Sayumi's never been known for her angelic voice, and her solo songs on past albums very painfully show that. So what could Tsunku possibly do to give Sayumi a solo song without making the ears of listeners bleed!?

Simple: write a song about how Sayumi can't sing then have her sing it!

Shabadabadoo~ is a jokingly self-aware farewell song that is tailored seamlessly to Sayumi's personality, musically and lyrically. Thankfully, Shabadabadoo~ doesn't stray too far into electropop. There's some vocal manipulation done in a few parts of the song, but it's very lightly done. Think MEG's music, if MEG didn't know how to sing. I actually like the instrumental to Shabadabadoo~ a lot. It's fun and quirky and suits Sayumi's style perfectly. Because we all know Sayumi can't deliver powerful ballads or edgy pop rock numbers like some of her fellow Platinum era members. She's cute. She built an entire reputation around her obsessions with cuteness. Shabadabadoo~ plays off that cuteness without sounding saccharine. Likewise, the lyrics are very tongue-in-cheek. Everything about Sayumi is in there: her narcissistic persona, her longevity in Momusu, her arrogance, her bad pitch, her youthful 18-year old looking appearance, everything. Even Fukumura Mizuki and Iikubo Haruna make appearances in the song! Not for too long, both just say "Yes!" then Sayumi continues to sing her heart out. I guess because both were poised to take on future leadership roles in Momusu. Ikuta Erina probably didn't get the memo...

If someone else sang Shabadabadoo~, this song might sound pretty good. Don't get me wrong, Shabadabadoo~ doesn't sound awful. In fact, this song could have sounded so so much worse. I should be thankful Sayumi got a song that fit her vocally. Honestly, I don't find Sayumi's voice unbearably grating. She definitely can't sing, but she's self-aware. I think she tries staying on pitch to some degree, and even if she fails to more often than not, that effort is appreciated. However, four minutes of Sayumi singing alone, even with Autotune, is a long four minutes. I think the people who will most appreciate and enjoy Shabadabadoo~ are the fans of Sayumi. If you never liked Sayumi, Shabadabadoo~ is going to come off as a painful, off-key boost to her ego. I think this song worked a lot better than I thought it would have, and as graduation songs go, it's not bad. There's a definite perkiness to Shabadabadoo~, and it's kind of nice hearing something cheerful in lieu of something emotionally heavy. Maybe not the greatest song ever, but definitely an appropriate send-off song for Sayumi.

Remember how I was saying Shabadabadoo~ was tailored for Sayumi and that fans who didn't care for her would probably loathe the song. Well, that also applies to the music video. Maybe even more so with the music video, because then Sayumi's in her natural habitat: being the center of attention!

When I look into my crystal ball, I see a Sayumi PV with pink. Lots and lots of pink.

And from the look of it, I'd say I was right!

Shall we see just how pink and girlish this PV can get?

My only surprise so far is that Sayumi didn't insist a bigger bouquet.

That being said, this PV is 110% made for Sayumi.

You could give her a paper clip and she'd find some way to make it work.

Why de rien, Sayumi!

Over a decade in Morning Musume and she's barely aged. I blame witchcraft.

Sayumi peaks into her future love life after graduating Morning Musume!

So much of this PV is fluff, but Sayumi is so adorable...

Can my graduation dress be made of these flowers?

Seeing the world through heart-shaped sunglasses, the Michishige Sayumi Way!

Now you better not screw up, Mizuki, you're my last resort!

Solo graduation PVs get some pretty iffy outfits, but Sayumi's outfits are perfect.

Getting good screenshots for some PVs can be a challenge. This PV was a cakewalk.

Sayumi really is cute. The cutest idol ever? Well... she'd be a strong contender.

Definitely the most narcissistic idol ever.

Are those empty chairs for the other Platinum members?

What could Sayumi be reading? The novelized version of my blog perhaps?

Sorry, I think screencapping this PV is making me a little narcissistic.

Now you better not screw this up, Haruna, you're my last last resort!

Those shoes. I need a pair. Someone fly to Japan and buy me a pair.

I know, Sayumi, lollipops can be very startling.

Such sweetness. I'll probably have cavities by the time I'm done screencapping.

Cupcakes! Yum!

The title shows up multiple times in this in case you get amnesia while watching it!

See? I forgot how to spell Shabadabadoo~ while screencapping then it magically popped up and reminded me!

Sayumi looks like a princess in this shot. A fluffy pink princess!

Sayumi goes out with one final pose which is, surprisingly, not the Usa-chan Peace pose.

Well, this PV ends with about as much pink as it began with!

Watching the music video for Shabadabadoo~ made me think Sayumi would make an amazing solo idol if she could sing. Hell, she might even be able to be a solo idol anyways! Sayumi looks so confident on camera. Maybe a little forced at times, but she at least has some grace. I'll take forcibly adorable over forcibly awkward any day. And Sayumi plays up every bit of cuteness she can muster in this music video. All the props, the poses, the facial expressions, this PV is about as sugary and sweet as a sugar rush. Which suits Sayumi perfectly. If you're watching this music video, I hope you like the color pink, because that's 90% of the color palette. Personally, I love the color pink, and I also love girly things. So a music video full of both suits me perfectly. And I think the decor was handled well for Shabadabadoo~. I was a little worried Shabadabadoo~ would look boring and cheap like the PV for Tiki Bun. While the music video has very minimal sets, some good editing, a variety of props, and Sayumi's charismatic onscreen personality make for a very charming, engaging music video. Speaking of Sayumi, her outfits are perfect, and I want them.

The lollipops and bubbly pink edits are window dressing though. Shabadabadoo~ was intended to be a farewell music video celebrating Sayumi's career in Morning Musume. Does it succeed in that regard? I think Shabadabadoo~ perfectly captures Sayumi's idol personality and where she stood in Morning Musume. Sayumi's always been the eye candy, the devilishly charming member who can't sing her way out of a box but can work the camera like it's a mirror. That's the main strength of Shabadabadoo~ and why I highly recommend watching the music video instead of listening to the song alone. This PV is all about Sayumi and how cute Sayumi can get. Maybe it's a little overkill, but this is Michishige Sayumi we're talking about. I'd expect it to be overkill. Of all the graduation PVs I've watched, Shabadabadoo~ is the one that I think captures the graduating member the closest. Nope, not even Tanaka Reina's Rock no Teigi. When I watch this music video, I see Sayumi in a Nutshell, and then I can't help but smile.

Because seeing Sayumi, nearly a decade later and still not looking a day over 18, makes me appreciate just how far she's come in Morning Musume. She started out as the unnecessary 6th Generation member, the self-centered girl who can't sing. She spent so many years playing up that role while still remaining to the back in Morning Musume songs. Now here she is, captain of Morning Musume, going out as the member with the most longevity, and basking in the glory of her own music video. Sayumi devoted over a decade to Morning Musume; I think Shabadabadoo~ is a fitting reward for those eleven years of devotion. And now she's passed the torch on to Mizuki and Haruna; it makes sense they appeared in the music video. Also Ikuta Erina, but we'll just assume Erina was there in spirit. Overall, I like the music video for Shabadabadoo~. I like how well it highlights Sayumi's idol career and gives her an opportunity to shine alone. Maybe she can't sing, and maybe her idol persona could get forced, but at the end of the day, she put a lot of heart into Morning Musume. For that, I wish all the best for her in the future.

You will be missed, Michishige Sayumi. Not just by me, but by other fans. And yet I cannot give Shabadabadoo~ five apples. Just because I'm bittersweet doesn't mean I'm blind. Shabadabadoo~ isn't the best song, as Sayumi solely singing may have indicated. The music video makes up for it though, being the perfect sendoff for Sayumi. So my final verdict? Four apples.

Let's Talk about 14 Shou ~The message~

You know, for all the years I've been blogging on the Wonderland, I haven't reviewed a Morning Musume album. I think it's about time I amend that!

It's also been awhile since I reviewed an album. I can't help that the markets haven't been releasing much. What am I supposed to review? NMB48's new album? Yeah, I am not reviewing nearly thirty songs on an album. Luckily, Morning Musume graced us with an album! I'd think they would, what with Sayumi graduating and the addition of the 12th Generation starting in 2015. 14 Shou ~The message~ I suppose is a way to end the era Sayumi's lead. In this case, the era of electropop! Yes, it's been over two years since the release of One Two Three and Robo Musume is still very much here and very much disputed. Morning Musume's electropop singles have been very hit-or-miss. However, I do think that over these past two years, the 9th/10th/11th Generations have really developed into a group. I mean, compare them from 12, Smart to 14 Shou ~The message~. They've grown! Now has Morning Musume's music grown with them?

1. Tiki Bun (Album Version)

Sensibly, 14 Shou ~The message~ kicks off with Morning Musume's most recent song, Tiki Bun! Sadly, I do not care about this song, even with the cool little intro added in the album version. Tiki Bun's not a bad song, but it's more-or-less the kind of song you'd expect from the current Morning Musume. Also, Tiki Bun is a prime example of how Momusu's electropop kick is growing weary. The song doesn't really try anything new outside the realm of bleeps and bloops and generic electropop sounds. Even the ridiculous title isn't utilized. Seriously, I thought this song would be... I don't know, tropical electropop? That would be weird as hell, but at least it would stand out. Tiki Bun is catchy and easy on my ears, but I'm not going to remember or appreciate it as soon as I'm done writing about it. Also, the girls sound like they're singing "Cheeky Bun" which somehow sounds even more ridiculous than "Tiki Bun."

My Rating:


2. Password is 0

0 is a very weak computer password. Google would not approve. Well, after one A-side, we have another A-side! There are many A-sides on this album. I hope you like catchy songs, because you will have Password is 0 stuck in your head for at least a month! The thing is, you'll only have one part of the song stuck in your head: the title itself. The girls sing the title at least ten times, and that's not even counting the random vocal effects. The strongest assets of Password is 0 are its frightening catchiness and its energy. It's like Yasutaka Nakata got drunk, did a line of cocaine, then composed a song. Password is 0 is energetic to the point where it's almost abrasive (and a little annoying). I do like Password is 0, but I don't love it. The girls sound really robotic in this song. So robotic that I wouldn't be surprised if they'd been replaced with robots in the recording studio. Password is 0 is a catchy song, but I want to hear some new album material now...

My Rating:


3. Asu wo Tsukuru no wa Kimi

Ask and you shall receive! Taking a complete 180 from the electropop Tiki Bun and Password is 0, Asu wo Tsukuru no wa Kimi is a ballad. I guess Morning Musume has one for every album. As far as a ballads go, Asu wo Tsukuru no wa Kimi is all right. Of the many, many ballads I have listened to, Asu wo Tsukuru no wa Kimi won't rank as one of my favorites, but it's a nice listen. I do like that a majority of the song is sung in duets. The vocals in Momusu have gotten better since the 9th/10th/11th generations started out, but not enough to deliver an impactful ballad. Asu wo Tsukuru no wa Kimi sounds sweet, but like with Tiki Bun, there's not much to it. I do like hearing something besides electropop from the current Morning Musume, but Asu wo Tsukuru no wa Kimi is a bit too bland. The chorus is pretty, and the instrumental sounds nice. But there are lots of pretty choruses and nice instrumentals. Give me something with a little more bite.

My Rating:


4. Kirari to Hikaru Hoshi

Ask and you shall receive!!! It's almost like I knew before writing this review how the tracks all sounded... Kirari to Hikaru Hoshi is a duet between Sayashi Riho and Oda Sakura. If this song had come out a year ago, I would have indifferent at best. If this song had come out two years ago, I would have been livid. I was not (and still am not) a fan of Riho's voice, but I think she's sounded more tolerable in the past year and half. And she holds her own with Sakura! The two sound much better than they did in their last duet off of Help me!! Kirari to Hikaru Hoshi is an electropop dance song (big surprise there). The vocal arrangement works well here. Sakura and Riho sing in a lower range, which fits their voices much better. The song itself has that cool, edgy dance sound. Again, Kirari to Hikaru Hoshi's not breaking any new ground, but it's still a good song. So far, it's my favorite track on 14 Shou ~The message~. Unless the next one proves better...

My Rating:


5. Koibito ni wa Zettai ni Shiraretakunai Shinjitsu

Koibito ni wa Zettai ni Shiraretakunai Shinjitsu does not prove better. What... what the hell is even going on in this song!? The song starts out with a sample, which is kind of cool but makes no sense. The sample has a guy saying "What is this crazy rock and roll music!?" which would be clever if Koibito ni wa Zettai ni Shiraretakunai Shinjitsu was a rock n'roll song. But it's electropop. Also... this song is sung by Sayumi, Haruna, and Mizuki. And Sayumi sings quite a bit. Two of the three people singing on this album don't have very strong voices. Sayumi's Autotuned to hell, Haruna's trying her best, and Mizuki's basically the only one who sounds decent. Koibito ni wa Zettai ni Shiraretakunai Shinjitsu also reminds me a teensy bit of PyokoPyoko Ultra. And I adored that song. God, I still can't believe that song exists. Koibito ni wa Zettai ni Shiraretakunai Shinjitsu has some nice ideas, but poor vocals and an aimless arrangement bog the song down.

My Rating:


6. What is Love?

Okay, back to A-sides! That's a safe choice! And a boring one, but I can manage boring. Luckily, What is Love? is far from boring! Honestly, I kind of forgot about this song... Which is crazy because back when it was first revealed as the J-Melo theme song, I loved it. I want it to be an A-side, I wanted it to get a kickass music video, I wanted to hear the recorded version, I advocated for What is Love? up until the song was finally released as one of three A-sides. And then... it barely got promoted. Which is a shame, because it was favorite of those three A-sides. What is Love? is kind of a scattered song, but I like the jerky, fast arrangement. It's a short, sweet song without going 100 mph like Password is 0. And there's this nice swing to What is Love? The awesome choreography shows that! Other than that's, the song is more electropop as done by Morning Musume. Personally, I think it's one of Momusu's better electropop songs.

My Rating:


7. Watashi wa Watashi Nanda

Who wants more dance electropop? I hope you do, because there's plenty more to come! Watashi wa Watashi Nanda is the tried-and-true formula of this era (and the last album era). Of all the electropop songs on 14 Shou ~The message~, I do think Watashi wa Watashi Nanda is one of the better songs. Watashi wa Watashi Nanda offers little new material; it's a dance song that has a popping, catchy instrumental. I'll be the dance has many formations in it. The more I listen to Watashi wa Watashi Nanda, I realize that I shouldn't care about this song at all. It's basically Tiki Bun without the cheesy hook. Actually... maybe that's why I like it. Because at no point do the girls sound like they're singing "Cheeky Bun." Watashi wa Watashi Nanda also has all the girls singing individually, so it's a good song to hear all the current voices of Morning Musume. Everyone sounds decent, but that might be because of the genre. Overall, I like Watashi wa Watashi Nanda. And that's about it.

My Rating:


8. Waraenai Hanashi

Tsunku vocals... so many Tsunku vocals. I don't know why, but I have never liked Tsunku's voice. He always sound like the creepy uncle who still thinks he's 16 years old and can hang out with teenage girls without any creepy connotations. Is that simile too specific? His addition to Waraenai Hanashi is, in my opinion, unnecessary and unwanted. Then again, he is the only part of this song that stands out. Surprise! Waraenai Hanashi is... more electropop!!! Bet you never guessed it! After four dance electropop songs in a row, Waraenai Hanashi blends right in with them. Maybe this is a good song overshadowed by four songs that sound more-or-less just like it? I will never know. But Waraenai Hanashi doesn't stand out to me on this album, and 14 Shou ~The message~ needs an album song that will stand out. Waraenai Hanashi is still better than Koibito ni wa Zettai ni Shiraretakunai Shinjitsu, but it's still one of my least favorite tracks on 14 Shou ~The message~.

My Rating:


9. Egao no Kimi wa Taiyou sa

Back to A-sides! That's what a majority of the last third consists of in this album. Of the A-sides from this era, I don't care for Egao no Kimi wa Taiyou sa. In summation: Ego no Kimi wa Taiyou sa is to Colorful Morning Musume what Seishun Collection was to Platinum Morning Musume. There are a few cool parts in it, like the We Will Rock You-style opening. But those ideas are eschewed in favor of a bland vocal arrangement. I do like hearing Momusu doing a happier, less-EDM song, but Egao no Kimi wa Taiyou sa just sounds dull and uninspired. The additional electropop sounds sprinkled throughout the song don't fit well either. The chorus is my least favorite part of Egao no Kimi wa Taiyou sa; it sounds so boring. And the chorus doesn't fit with any other part of the song. Neither do the verses. Or the instrumental. Actually, the entirety of Egao no Kimi wa Taiyou sa sounds like different songs sewn together with the precision of cat paws.

My Rating:


10. Kimi no Kawari wa Iyashinai

Oh hey, this song! I forgot it even existed! I blame UFP releasing it as part of a triple A-side single. Kimi no Kawari wa Iyashinai was used as Japan Team's Winter Olympics cheer song. I don't know if that holds any reverence, but Kimi no Kawari wa Iyashinai definitely supports the Land of the Rising. The chorus has them literally cheering "Nippon! Nippon!" But then the rest of the lyrics don't really have much to do with Japan? They're more about boys and love. There's nothing really terrible I can point out with Kimi no Kawari wa Iyashinai, but I've never been able to get into this song. Maybe because Riho's trying to belt too much? Like with Tiki Bun, the song's all right, but it doesn't stand out. The song's enjoyable and fast-paced, so I'm sure it makes for a very good cheer song. I don't care about sports though. Kimi no Kawari wa Iyashinai is a pick-up after the strangely bland Egao no Kimi wa Taiyou sa, but it's not a highlight off 14 Shou ~The message~.

My Rating:


11. Otona ni Nareba Otona ni Nareru!?

One last album song with all the remaining members who haven't gotten their own songs yet! So that means Masaki, Ayumi, Erina, Kanon, and Haruka. Not a bad lineup, although Erina and Ayumi are definitely the iffier of the five singers on this track. Otona ni Nareba Otona ni Nareru!? is more electropop fare, but the song is catchy and fun. I guess any song featuring Masaki is bound to be hyperactively crazy. Otona ni Nareba Otona ni Nareru!? doesn't get too crazy, but I love the energy level. The song fits well between Kimi no Kawari wa Iyashinai and the final song on 14 Shou ~The message~. The vocals sound good. Haruka's voice leaves me baffled as to why UFP doesn't utilize her more in songs. Kanon and Masaki sound good, and even Erina and Ayumi sound pretty decent! I like the way all five girls' voices blend. Considering Otona ni Nareba Otona ni Nareru!? is all about becoming adults, I think it's a very fitting song for these 9th/10th Generation members.

My Rating:


12. Toki no Koe Sora no Koe

Saving the best for last, the album closes with my personal favorite single of this era. I love Toki no Koe Sora no Koe, even more than I did when I reviewed it. The irony is Toki no Koe Sora no Koe sounds like something Platinum-era Morning Musume would release. It's dramatic, moody, filled to the brim with angst, all the characteristics of Morning Musume singles from 2008 to 2010. But Toki no Koe Sora no Koe is so pretty. I love the violins and the piano, and the little bits of electronica in the instrumental work nicely too. I even like the lyrics. The song's all about how love transcends space and time; songs about space always appeal to me. Toki no Koe Sora no Koe sounds refreshingly melancholic for the current Morning Musume, without any of the hooks or high-sped dance songs they've been defaulting to. For that reason, I think Toki no Koe Sora no Koe is the perfect way to end 14 Shou ~The message~ along with this era.

My Rating:


The Verdict

You think Tsunku's getting tired of electropop? I kind of hope so... 14 Shou ~The message~ is more-or-less and electropop album with one or maybe two songs that aren't electropop. I am a happy passenger on the Electro Train, but by now, this is starting to a grow a little stale for Morning Musume. And that doesn't have to be how their electropop music is. Electropop is more than dance music; it's sort an umbrella term for a lot of different songs. But Tsunku seems to be stuck on creating catchy, energetic, dance songs then throwing in some bleeps an bloops then Autotuning the hell out of the entire thing. Sometimes, that works. Kirari to Hikaru Hoshi and Otona ni Nareba Otona ni Nareru!? fit that mold, and they were two of my favorite tracks off 14 Shou ~The message~. But then songs like Koibito ni wa Zettai ni Shiraretakunai Shinjitsu and Waraenai Hanashi show that this entire electropop phase is wearing down. Maybe Tsunku will get obsessed with a new genre. Jazz? Lounge? Hell, at this point, I'd even take vaporwave...

Overall, 14 Shou ~The message~ is a mix of good and bad. Even then, the bad songs are far from the worst music I've ever heard. The good songs are thoroughly enjoyable. The only two songs I'd say I really dislike are Koibito ni wa Zettai ni Shiraretakunai Shinjitsu and Waraenai Hanashi. The other songs? Like I said, a mix. Most of the songs are like musical popcorn: they give you something to listen to, but not something that's going to tide you over. I think maybe if Tsunku produced more new material, this might be a better album, or at least a more varied one. Half the songs on this album are A-sides. So six old electropop songs, five new electropop songs, and one semi-ballad make up for an album that doesn't stretch far from Morning Musume's current comfort zone. I can't point out anything specifically bad about 14 Shou ~The message~ but this is definitely not the best album I've listened to this year. And the albums this year have been shockingly mediocre. 14 Shou ~The message~ makes for a nice compilation of Morning Musume's singles, but beyond two or three songs, there's not much else this album has to offer.

Three point five apples feels like the appropriate rating to give 14 Shou ~The message~. Unless you're an electropop fanatic, the album is more-or-less the usual electropop I've come to expect from the current Morning Musume. If I want to get my electropop fix, I think I'll go listen to Curumi Chronicle.

If I Could Build My Own Senbatsu...

So the preliminary results are out for AKB48's 5th Senbatsu Election. As you have probably seen by now, there are a variety of ups and downs with these first-day results. As there are still a few weeks to go until voting time ends, I'll just briefly go over my own opinions- You know what? I really don't care.

Yeah, do you guys wanna talk about something else? Like Perfume? BiS disbanding? The state of the economy and how it will effect graduating students? Do any of you guys actually care about the Senbatsu election this year? Because I really don't. I don't know what it is about this year. Maybe it's the fact that most of the members I liked have jumped ship graduated by now. Maybe it's because AKB48's music has gotten so unoriginal that there's no point in getting excited now. Or maybe it's because I know that the same people who got it last year are going to get it this year with little to no surprises. And those surprises will probably be dull ones. Sasshi's gonna get center, Mayu and Jurina won't be far behind, and the members that AKS pushed for Senbatsu will get in the Senbatsu. I'm sorry, it's just boring now. I don't feel that same nervous anticipation from elections past. I think it's just because I don't really care about any of the members now. Most of them are from different groups anyways, so the Senbatsu's probably gonna end up with like five of sixteen girls actually being in AKB48. Gosh, I don't see why AKS just doesn't go ahead and shuffle all the members together since they like cherry-picking their favorites from other groups so... much... wait a a minute...

What if... what if AKS could take other members from other idol groups?

I'm not talking about just the sisters groups, I'm talking about any idol group. From Morning Musume to Team Syachihoko to Brand-new Idol Society, it doesn't matter. Any group. Obviously, this can't ever happen due to conflicts between agencies, but abstractly speaking, it's a cool idea. I always love seeing idols interact with each other on music and variety shows, even if it's just for a little bit. And one of my favorite concepts is the shuffle groups from Hello! Project. It's a shame they don't do that anymore. Seeing other H!P idols out of their usual groups is such a cool, kind of surreal thing to watch. Thinking about this got me thinking about what members I would choose if I could make my own Senbatsu. I'd definitely get different idols from vastly different groups into one group. I think to do this I'll stick to the 16-member format that the current AKB48 Senbatsu election has. Everything else though is fair game. I am sticking to idols that are still around, so no idols from the 80s or 90s or early 2000s. Besides, I don't follow enough of those older idols to even make a full Senbatsu of them. So not only would I build my own Senbatsu, but I'd also be in control of who produced the songs on my Senbatsu single.

I think I'd have the leading song be produced by Togawa Jun, former idol herself. Togawa Jun is known for her weird, usually morbid and grotesque music and lyrics, but she has a very theatric style. I always remember what her songs sound like after the first or second listen. I think it would be cool seeing the former ero-guro idol produce a song for an idol group, especially a Senbatsu along the lines of AKB48. It would probably be weird and may even turn people off from it, but it would be so interesting. But I'd also want a song produced by Shiina Ringo, and definitely Hyadain, and maybe even Nakata Yasutaka or Usagi Disco. I think what I'd do is split my Senbatsu into little subunits, and each producer would create a song for each subunit. So Nakata would do an electronic song, Ringo would do alternative, and Hyadain would do... whatever you call his stuff. Those would all be the B-sides of the single, and the Togawa Jun-produced song would serve as the A-side. The overall single would be a collage of different styles of music from pop to techno alternative. Most importantly though, there would be any bland, generic AKB48-style songs on them.

There's also the matter of a music video... I love reviewing music videos, so mine definitely wouldn't be the generic dance shot/close-ups idol music video. I think I'd want a story in mine. Nothing deep or mind screw-y, just a clear storyline. Maybe it would involve saving the world from a government agency set to destroy idol groups. And all these idols in my Senbatsu are survivors from their own groups, so they all band together to release a song so epic that it destroys the powers trying to suppress idols. It wouldn't be a long PV, but I think I'd have it at around 10-15 minutes. It would be mostly action, taking performance with fight scenes and mashing them together. I would either have that as the music video or this: an homage to idols. It would include re-enactments of famous idol music videos and performances, from Matsuda Seiko to Morning Musume. I've always liked it when idols reference other idols, but it never happens that much. This music video would be kind of like Togawa Jun's music video for Suki Suki Daisuki but not satirical.

Then there's the most important aspect of my Senbatsu: the members. Since I have free reign in my own little imaginary world, I'd want as many members from different groups as possible. There would also be this melting pot of different personalities! Like some would have dancing as their strong point or vocals or personality! And a lot of these idols are just personal favorites of mine. So let's take a look at Nia's Senbatsu and see how impossible it would be!

16. Masui Mio (Passpo) - At the bottom of my Senbatsu, I'd go with Mio from Passpo. Her and Negishi Ai are my favorite members of Passpo, but between the two, I'd go with Mio in my own Build-a-Senbatsu. Not that Ai would be a bad choice either, but I think Mio has a stronger personality that would shine better amongst fifteen other girls. In such a big group, it's easy for certain idols to get drown out by more prominent personalities and voices. While Mio may not have the greatest voice, she's got just enough charisma and charm to hold her own in my Senbatsu! And besides, she's such a cutie; how can you not love that mischievous little grin?

15. Kanazawa Tomoko (Juice=Juice) - I like all the members of Juice=Juice, but I think the member that would fit the best with different idols is Tomoko. She has this poise and confidence in her singing and dancing that some of the younger members of Juice=Juice lack. And since most of the members of my Senbatsu would be older, Tomoko would fit nicely among them. But she isn't only a fitting member visually; Tomoko also has the pipes to back that up! Sure, her voice isn't the strongest, but it's still a nice balance between low and high. Which is good considering the two members behind and ahead of her in this Senbatsu...

14. Momota Kanako (Momoiro Clover Z) - Of course, a good Senbatsu isn't a good Senbatsu without some different flavors in it! And Kanako of the zany and crazy (or at least they used to be) Momoiro Clover Z could bring some real zest to the Senbatsu! I wouldn't want her to be leading vocals of this Senbatsu though, so she'd be at a lower position. That way she still has presence, and I don't have to hear her shriek! Maybe at their live performances, Kanako could performance her signature "shrimp jump" at the end of one of the songs! She may come off as a bit creepy in some of the group singles, but Kanako would still provide a lot of entertainment!

13. Nishiwaki Sayaka (9nine) - As A-chan's little sister has already proved with 9nine's joint concert with Perfume, she's capable of fitting in with another group nearly seamlessly. I thought about putting A-chan herself in this Senbatsu, but I think she fits better with Perfume. Sayaka on the other hand has got just as good of a voice as A-chan and just as great of a smile! And she's more seasoned to being an idol rather than a performer! Sayaka could do the MCs at my Senbatu's concerts and provide the waterworks! I wonder if emotional, passionate crying is a genetic trait in the Nishiwaki family...

12. Tentenko (BiS) - There's nothing like an idol who isn't afraid to do weird things for the sake of entertainment, and every member of BiS could basically qualify for that. But to me, the member of BiS that seems the most okay with doing anything weird is Tentenko. Seeing some of her antics on music shows, I firmly believe that Tentenko is up for anything, even a Senbatsu with fifteen other girls. Tentenko could be the more risque, unconventional representative of this Senbatsu, doing strange, sometimes grotesque things on and off stage. But still being freaking adorable. And with BiS disbanding, that would give Tentenko an outlet to something else idol-related!

11. Yamamoto Sayaka (NMB48) - The only thing that tops a cute idol is a cool idol, and Yamamoto Sayaka is just about as radical as mainstream idols get. She plays the guitar, she's the badass and understanding leader of NMB48, and she has a nice voice to boot! Should my Senbatsu ever do a single in which they decided to play as a band, my management would be sane and allow Sayanee to play the guitar. Should my #1 Senbatsu member not be around for a performance, Sayanee could easily take up her heels and lead the rest of the Senbatsu to a great performance. Other than that, Sayanee's just cool. Can she be in all the idol groups?

10. Ishida Ayumi (Morning Musume) - Why did I pick Ayumi out of all the Morning Musume members? Well, because she's one of the groups best dancers and doesn't shriek the same way Riho does. Speaking of which, in my Senbatsu, all the girls will hit notes that are comfortable to their ranges, Ayumi included. Speaking of which, there's a position in K-pop groups called the "lead dancer" that I wish J-pop groups would utilize more. Because Ayumi, along with one other girl on this Senbatsu would definitely take up that position, with kickass dance solos in my Senbatsu's songs and special dance numbers in concert performances!

9/8. Rena & Risa (Vanilla Beans) - I don't follow Vanilla Beans very closely, but from the songs I've listened to and PVs I've watched, the two members of the duo come off as very classy. Like refined, stylish robots from a retro-style future. I don't know much about the members' personalities, so I've no idea how either one of them would mesh personality-wise with the rest of my Senbatsu. But visually, I think they would contribute both finesse and style to my Senbatsu, giving a veneer of effortless class. Kind of like GAM did except with more style and slightly less sexual tension. Like GAM though, the legs of the Vanilla Beans girls go on for miles.

7. Nakajima Saki (C-ute) - Here we are now in the Kami 7 of my Senbatsu, those holy seven idols who make up the top tier. Filling that first Kami 7 spot along with the other position of leader dance in my Senbatsu would be the lovely Nakky. Not only is Nakky one of my favorite H!P members, but she's also one of the best dancers. Nakky can pull off both adorable and sensual dance, sometimes at the same time. Not only that she can look cute and sweet or sexy and badass. She's kind of like a chameleon! In my Senbatsu, she and Ayumi would have dance solos, and maybe even a dance battle like the ones Ayumi partakes with Riho in Momusu!

6. Nakamoto Suzuka (Babymetal) - While I'm not a fan of Babymetal, I do love the voice of the main singer, Suzuka or Su-Metal as she goes by in Babymetal. Her voice has such great power and resonance, along with a very distinct sound. I love strong voices, so I would definitely have her in my Senbatsu. That's why I have her in one of the higher positions, so she could sing more prominently than in any of those lower positions. And her experience in a metal idol group should give her a different perspective than the other Senbatsu members. But she still also has experience in traditional idol group Sakura Gakuin. It's the best of both worlds!

5. Minegishi Minami (AKB48) - I guess I'm kind of cheating by including a member of AKB48 on a Senbatsu that's kind of not supposed to be solely AKB48 members... But Miichan is just awesome! She's adorable and kooky and sweet, and she went through so much crap last year. And from the looks of it, she's probably not gonna make it onto this year's election Senbatsu either. And if she does, it won't be a high position. So on my Senbatsu, Miichan would have a high position in the Kami 7! The only reason she's not higher is because I have a few more idols that I like just a teensy bit better. But still, I'd definitely want Miichan up high for her bubbling personality!

4. Terashima Yufu - I've always missed Yufu ever since she left BiS, but it does make me happy that she's started solo activities again. I think Yufu's got one of the most distinct idol voices on the market right now, and it really makes her stand out. So I'd want her to be at the top of the Senbatsu, where the more solos/duets/trios would be. Also like Tentenko, she has a past with BiS, along with being an idol on her own. So she's been both a member and a soloist, with two very different images for each! And Yufu's such a photogenic member. Even in BiS she always looked very pretty, whether she was swinging a baseball bat or covered in fake blood!

3. Konishi Ayano (Tokyo Girls' Style) - Even though her voice has been struggling these past two years, I'd still like Ayano in my Senbatsu. She has such a distinctive voice, and her performance skills are pretty high too! I'd want Ayano in my top 3 because again, she has a strong voice and I think she'd carry herself well in the top 3 of my Senbatsu. She also comes from the mature Tokyo Girls' Style, so I think she'd be up for doing a more mature concept despite her young age. I mean, have you guys seen the PV for Juujika? She totally rocks it! And so does Hitomi, but when it comes down to those two, I'd still have to go with Ayano. She's got the pipes for my Senbatsu!

2. Curumi Chronicle - Much like Suzuka, Curumi Chronicle offers a different angle of idol music than many of the other idols on this list. As the only purely technopop idol, Curumi might enjoy performing more traditional music. And I think it would help her to participate in a group! She seems a little nervous and hesitant when it comes to performing. So singing with a big group of girls might help Curumi come out of her shell and allow her to grow more comfortable with performing alone. I thought about making her #1, but I figured she wouldn't be up to centering a single. Besides, I had one person as #1 from the very beginning I thought of this idea...

1. Akimoto Sayaka - I don't care if Sayaka's graduated from being an idol, I'd still want her to be the center of my Senbatsu! Sure, she's 25, but so what? If Shinoda Mariko stayed an idol until she was 27, I'm sure Sayaka could too! Something that always pained me was that Sayaka never got a really high spot during the Senbatsu elections, only making it so far as #12. Personally, I think she deserved better, even after that scandal that wasn't really a scandal. Sayaka has a great voice, vibrant personality, commanding stage presence, she was probably so cool that AKS got blinded by her coolness and were afraid to promote her!

There you have it! Now this would just be my Senbatsu. As for what B-sides would go on each single and who would produce them, I think I've figured that out:

• Shiina Ringo: Akimoto Sayaka, Konishi Ayano, Terashima Yufu, Nakamoto Suzuka, Yamamoto Sayaka, Tentenko

Ringo could definitely do something weird and experimental, and these six idols have the vocals to pull off some weird stuff. I don't know if Ringo would go the more jazz or rock route, but either one would work! I'm thinking maybe a little bit more jazz though, something mature and sensual like Meisai. And she could add some percussion in too! This would be kind of bombastic and scattered song, with smooth, sexy vocals to carry it through.

• Nakata: Curumi Chronicle, Rena & Risa, and Nishiwaki Sayaka

For the electronic number, I think I'd want something more on the pop side for Nakata's work. Not like straight-up idol pop, but maybe something that combines a futuristic sound with the peppy sound of J-pop. I'm thinking along the lines of Aira Mitsuki's works or even Perfume's Computer City or Electro World. And if there was a music video, it could be similar to Spring of Life! That would be so cool... I just love technopop that sounds like it comes from The Jetsons-style future...

• Hyadain: Minegishi Minami, Momota Kanako, Kanazawa Tomoko, Masui Mio

The crazy ones, all in one group together. Okay, Tomoko's not that crazy, but it would do her good to be around Kanako and Miichan! The Hyadain single would be totally all over the place, with a variety of random sounds kind like what he did in Wani to Shampoo. This would definitely be a pop song, maybe with elements of ska or punk in it. I'm thinking something very fast-paced, that doesn't require strong vocals but is still really catchy!

• Nakata (again): Nakajima Saki and Ishida Ayumi

What? I really like Nakata's work... In contrast to the other group, this duo of Nakky and Ayumi would have a dance song. Something like Party Maker or The music or maybe even Jumper, with minimal vocals and an emphasis on the dance aspect. In fact, wouldn't be cool if Mikiko could choreograph it? I would love to see Mikiko choreograph a duo, I think she could really work off that dynamic! It would be a long song too, five minutes at least, mostly instrumental.

Admittedly, my ideal Senbatsu and single would be a mess. But it would be a wonderful mess. I noticed from doing this that I either like cool idols with strong voices or idols with outgoing personalities. And that I like music that isn't boring, but I already knew that. My ideal Senbatsu will never happen. It isn't feasible in any way possible, but it's still really fun to imagine this kind of Senbatsu in lieu of the usual one that we're gonna get at AKB48's Senbatsu election this year. So I want to extend this question to you guys: who would you have in your Senbatsu. You can pick anyone, retired or not retired, old or young, as long as they have been an idol at some point. You also get total creative control over what they release. They can be a concert-based idol group, more commercial, street-performers, etc. They can release any genre of music bland or unconventional, same for music videos. You are in control, which is something that none of us will probably ever get to be when it comes to idol groups. I'm sure some of you guys have fantasized what it would be like creating your own idol group. And if you haven't, you should try it! It's really fun! And it may even reflect your own personal taste in idols and even music!