Thursday, April 11, 2013

Brainstorming vs. Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai


Two songs from the same single going head to head! Prepare yourselves, readers, we are about to pit both A-sides from Morning Musume's 53rd single and Tanaka Reina's last single with the group head to head! In the left corner we have... BRAINSTORMING!!! In the right corner we have... KIMI SAE IRABA NANI MO IRANAI!!! Two different A-sides, one Morning Musume single, which one will prevail as the victor of this ultimate idol smackdown? Join your fabulous and witty host Nia as Brainstorming and Kimi Sae Iraba Nani mo Iranai fight it out... TO THE DEATH! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In other words, I'm doing a double PV review. Huzzah!

The PVs for both Brainstorming and Kimi Sae Iraba Nani mo Iranai practically came out at the same time so I figured why not kill two reviews with one post and just review them at the same time! Then again, double PV reviews always take longer than single PV reviews... Oh well, this was totally worth it! Anyways, readers, the time for Tanaka Reina's graduation is almost here. And going out on her last single with Morning Musume, Reina gets a double A-side and a solo song one edition of the single! That's some pretty snazzy last-single treatment there! But the real question is how do those A-sides measure up? Are they both equally strong and show diverse styles that work well? Or is one A-side promoted like crazy and the other one ignored for being generally lame and mediocre? You know, like The Matenrou Show! Luckily, both A-sides of this single have gotten generally equal treatment in terms of exposure and UFP was kind enough to give out the money for each song to have different costumes! I'm still contemplating why The Matenrou Show was even an A-side considering the fantastic lack of promotion that song got... But anyways, as this single has two promoted A-sides I think it's only fair that I compare both of them to see how each one holds up when compared to the other! Besides, comparing and contrasting things is fun! So for the first round of Nia's Idol Smackdown, I'm going to start with Brainstorming! After all, that song was released before Kimi Sae Ireba so I think it's only fair that I review it first! So after brainstorming my opinion (and gleefully cackling at the opportunity to use that pun), what is my verdict on the first A-side of Morning Musume's 53rd single?

Well... I have no faults with Brainstorming.

No, really. I am 100% sincerely writing that I have no faults with this song. I know that as someone who reviews idol music, I'm supposed to be critical and I try to be. But when I first listened to Brainstorming, my immediate thought was, "Wow. I literally can't think of anything I dislike about this song." I thought that as I heard more of the single I'd naturally find criticisms of it like I do with every other song I review on this blog (except for Perfume but they're special). But no, I've listened to Brainstorming many more times now and I still maintain that I think this is a near-perfect Morning Musume song. Brainstorming follows the trend of Momusu's recent A-sides lately and is yes, another electropop song. For the fans who hate electropop yet have still stuck around for the past four singles, this obviously isn't your utopia. But since I run a blog that revolves around the Holy Trinity of Technopop, I think anyone who so much as glances at The Wonderland can deduce that I'm a pretty happy camper with the electropop direction that Momusu's been speeding through. What I like about Brainstorming though that sets it apart from the other songs released by MM lately is that it's fine-tuned a lot of the issues I had with their previous songs. The Autotuning is better, the electropop is more polished, and the arrangement is less choppy. It's like Tsunku realized all the mistakes he made with One Two Three, Wakuteka Take a chance, and Help me!! and fixed them all when creating Brainstorming. Unlike Help me!! which had such a cluster of different sounds that at times it sounded like a musical clusterfuck, all the variety in Brainstorming works. It's a highly enjoyable electropop song with a lot of energy ad lot of punch to it and for that, it earns a gold star from me.

Did I mention that the vocals are great too? Okay, they're not perfect but no one sounds terrible, not even Riho! In fact, Riho sounds great! I think that's because the solos she sang were mostly lower notes and her voice is much more suited to low notes. There's not too much Autotune in Brainstorming either so you Autotune haters don't have to flip your shit! Isn't that great? The only girls that are really conspicuously Autotuned are Sayu and Haruna in their very brief solos. Speaking of which, can we talk about the fact that Haruna actually got a solo in this song? I mean, she sounds fine despite the layers of Autotune heaped over her voice but I was surprised that Haruna was one of the girls besides Sakura, Reina, Riho, Mizuki and Ayumi to get an honest-to-god solo and not someone like Haruka. On the subject of girls who didn't get any solos beyond the two words that every sang, that can be a little disappointing to fans of Eripon, Zukki and Haruka. But for the most part, Brainstorming's vocals are distributed pretty evenly. There isn't anyone really dominating the song vocally, not even Riho or Reina! And the great thing is when any girl sings a solo it actually sounds pretty good! Good for an idol group anyways. The song also put Sakura, currently the most vocally capable member in the group, to good use! The notes she hits sound great and refreshingly powerful! I'm expecting great things from her in future songs! Ayumi and Mizuki also sound great, especially Mizuki! I just love how pretty her voice sounds. And Masaki sounds really good too! Her cute voice is a little odd in such an edgy song but I'm always impressed at how good her vocal control is!

And there's Reina. So while Brainstorming is a great song, is it a great graduation song as well? Honestly... not really. Don't get me wrong, Brainstorming is an spectacular song but (I can't believe I'm saying this) there's not much focus on Reina in the song. Ironic how she spent a good majority in Morning Musume as someone with a boatload of vocals and when it comes to her last song with the group, she gets jipped! What I mean is Brainstorming doesn't feel like a graduation song. When I listened to Kono Chikyuu Heiwa wo Honki de Negatterun da yo, I could hear it was pretty clearly Ai's graduation song and she got a lot of vocal spotlight (as per tradition during the Platinum Era...). And with Gaki and Renai Hunter, she also got a lot of vocals for herself and when I listen to Renai Hunter, I think of it as Gaki's graduation song. Brainstorming is not Reina's graduation song; or at least, it doesn't feel like her graduation song. So if you happen to be a Reina fan hoping for a beautiful sendoff with Reina gloriously basking in the vocal limelight, it ain't happening with Brainstorming. The solos are shared with seven other members and if you're a huge fan of Reina, that might be a little dismaying. Personally, I don't really care as I've never been a huge fan of Reina and it's not like she gets the amount of vocals that Suzuki Kanon got in this song. Reina sang a few solos and in those solos she sounded good! Besides, Reina's getting nothing short of the special graduation treatment, with a solo song and another A-side on her last single with Momusu to boot! And we'll talk about how that other A-side holds up in a minute. But for now, Brainstorming gets two thumbs up from me!

Okay, okay, and there's one more thing that I want to comment about with Brainstorming. Mostly, fan reactions have been positive, even from more critical reviewers, but there is one faction of the fandom that has something different to say. Because Brainstorming is another electropop song, some of the fans have been complaining along the lines of "Oh my god, another electropop song? I can't believe how unoriginal Tsunku's getting! I'm sick of all these electropop songs! ARGH!" You get the gist of it. Why do I bring this up, you ask? Well, many moons ago back in 2012 when One Two Three had been released and Wakuteka Take a Chance was the next up-and-coming single, I made a little prediction. I predicted that although most fans were embracing the new electropop sound with enthusiasm at that time, as time went on, a portion of those fans would grow tired of electro-releases one after the other. Momusu's electropop direction would sort of parallel the fan's reaction to the Momusu's mature direction in the Platinum Era: enthusiastic at first, but waning over time due to the monotony of each release. And now that I'm hearing opinions similar to the ones I predicted, I just want to say... I WAS RIGHT! I WAS REALLY RIGHT! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS ACTUALLY ABLE TO MAKE A SOMEWHAT SPOT-ON PREDICTION! YES! YES! YES! Okay, I'm done gloating. In all seriousness though, I'm not surprised that some fans are getting tired of the constant onslaught of electropop. However, personally, I think Brainstorming is a strong song for Morning Musume and definitely the strongest of the Colorful Era A-sides so far. Unless Kimi Sae Iraba Nani mo Iranai can take away that title... but we shall see later!

For now, let's take a look at the PV for Brainstorming! Do the dreaded filter sparkle effects make a daring return? Or maybe the atrocious green screens from Help me!! shall spring upon us! But hopefully neither one. Let's dive in!

And the PV starts with a pretty snazzy looking title drop!

Then the dance begins with everyone flapping their wings- I mean, arms!

Can it be!? Outfits that look flattering on everyone? And a PV with no sparkles? I must be dreaming!

And yeah, the dance is awesome.

Mizuki's looking hot as usual!

Love the rotation formation here and Riho's using her ample screen time nicely!

Ain't nobody a better dance than me! Including YOU, Riho!

Oh yeah, Reina's in this PV, isn't she? Funny how I didn't really notice her until the close-up...

Ayumi thinks she's a better dancer than me but I can control UFP with my MIND.

I wonder what Reina's brainstorming about. Graduating? Her band? World domination?

Nah, I think Sayu's more of the type to brainstorm about world domination...

Oh Sakura, you poor dear. Don't worry, you'll figure out how to act in front of the camera eventually.

Holy X-rated fanfiction, Batman! Zukki's getting a close-up more than .15 seconds long!

Now for the dance segment where half the group bounces up and down and the other punches the floor!

Momusu wants YOU to embrace the Autotune!

Nice to know the girls know their geometric angles!

And so begins the ultimate dance battle between the two dance queens of Morning Musume!

It appears Ayumi has wiped Riho out with... DANCE-BENDING! YEAH!!!!!

I like how this formation has both 6th Gen. girls in the middle of the circle!

Masaki, why are you perpetually adorable?

Haruna's looking good along with her yellow- I mean honey LED background lights.

And Eripon's looking lovely as usual! I love her hairstyle in this PV!

Haruka kicks ass with her gangster hat.

Um, why does Reina have handcuffs for earrings?

Ayumi asserts her reign as the dance queen of Momusu after her defeat of Riho.

And then there are these random close-ups.

Do they add anything to the PV? Nope! They don't even match the coloring of the PV!

And so those close-ups are never seen again and we cut back to the dance shot.

Momusu's coming to get you, AKB48.

After the shoot ended, the girls held that pose all night! The end!

Well, something I always like to keep in mind with Hello! Project PVs is that 98% are going to be cheap. Not only does it lower my expectations to prevent disappointment, when a group or soloist gets a PV with actual effort put into it, it's a pleasant surprise! So the problem I've had with Momusu's past PVs is that not only have they been cheap, they've been tacky. From seizure-inducing sparkles in One Two Three to the horrible clashing of colors in Wakuteka Take a Chance to the ridiculously bright green screens of Help me!! I just haven't been liking their recent PVs that much. I'm more of a "simplicity is your friend" kind of reviewer. So what I was hoping for Brainstorming's PV was that it would either be an expensive, well-done PV with a message and nice looking visuals- but then I realized this is H!P I'm talking about and just crossed my fingers and hoped that the PV wouldn't look cheap and tacky. The loose shot looked promising but I was still holding out and praying that the final PV wouldn't be pointlessly filtered over with cheap special effects you can find on Pixlr. And for the most part, Brainstorming is a pretty good PV! Okay, good in H!P standards; if a group like Perfume or Momoiro Clover Z released a PV like this, I'd be side-eyeing their agencies and the PV directors. But these days, an H!P PV that doesn't look bad and actually looks visually cohesive is a blessing. And the PV for Brainstorming is the standard Hello! Project fare of a close-up and a dance shot and some other random shots in those two separate locations but considering some of the other PVs H!P has been putting out lately, Brainstorming is definitely one of the better-looking ones.

What I like about this PV are the outfit choices and how the color scheme of the PV is matched with said outfits. First of all, the outfits for Brainstorming are effing awesome. Eons better than those cheetah-print travesties and the neon-painted garbage bags from Wakuteka Take a Chance. I wouldn't say Brainstorming's outfits are as good as One Two Three's but they're pretty close! There's just something about jackets with a bunch of zippers that must really appeal to me and I like how these outfits look good on everyone. The way they're cut and fitted just flatter the girls very nicely. And I like the little differences and embellishments with each girl's outfit, like Haruka's hat and Haruna's bow. Overall, I think the styling of the girls was just really well-done for this PV; even Zukki who usually gets the short end of the stick in terms of styling looks great! The outfits for Brainstorming have this kinda street look to them; they look like slightly brighter version of the outfits from Naichau Kamo, only with blue jackets instead of white jackets! What also works with Brainstorming's PV is the set of the dance shot; I like that it's pretty much just a black stage and an LED background. It allows the bright costumes to pop more and you're focusing more on the dance than the background! I think that was always a huge problem I had with Help me!! There was so much bright imagery that I didn't know where to look. But with the simple black stage serving as the set for the dance shot, I think the PV looks more polished! Sure, Brainstorming still has a cheap PV but it looks cheap in a minimalistic way.

Let's talk about that dance, shall we? I've noticed that Morning Musume has been on a streak of really good dances lately since One Two Three. New choreographer? I don't know! Okay, the group isn't as advanced as Perfume (but they're on their own plane of flawlessness that no other idol group I review can reach) but I think the dances look really solid and sharp! I'm not expert in dancing but the girls all look very synced and the moves look crisp! I love the formation used in this dance, particularly the parts where the girls rotate in a little circle. And you can't deny the awesomeness of the Riho vs. Ayumi dance battle! I actually think that was my favorite part about the PV; my only complaint is that I wish it was longer! I mean, who cool would it be if Brainstorming had this plot where Riho and Ayumi were gonna have this dance battle and one girls would represent like the Red Team and the other would represent the Blue Team and... sorry, I forget that this is an H!P PV I'm talking about. That ain't ever happening! Anyways, another part that I like about Brainstorming's PV is the close-up shots. The close-ups use the same LED lighting from the dance shot but this time it take up the entire wall the close-ups are shot in. What I thought was clever about the background was that the color of the lights was different with each girl's close-up to match her respective color. Like Riho got red, Haruna got yellow- I mean honey, Sakura got lavender, and so on. Okay, there were a few colors that looked a little awkward with the red/blue outfits (like blue/light blue and red/pink) but for the most part, I thought the close-ups looked pretty good! Again, not the most creative close-ups I've ever laid eyes on but for an H!P PV, they're not bad!

And then there are those random, five-second close-ups right before the bridge. I'm sorry but what was the point of those shots? They didn't last very long and we never saw them again for the rest of the PV! I guess they didn't look bad per say... just out of place! The white, natural lighting doesn't match with the darker and more synthetic lighting that fills the rest of the PV; it actually kind of washes the girls out. And okay, I know I'm nitpicking with this one tiny little scene but I'm really trying to figure out why the  director felt inclined to include it. Did he get a message saying "Hey, we just got access to this snazzy white backdrop!" and not wanting to let it go to waste, he shot some quick close-ups and had the editors cram it into the PV at the last minute. Those close-ups actually kind of remind me of the close-ups from Renai Hunter... so what, are all graduation PVs required to have natural white close-ups now? I don't know but beyond that, I have about as many complaints with Brainstorming's PV as I do with the song. Is it cheap? Yes. Is it original? Hell naw. But it looks good and at this point, that's all I'm asking from Hello! Project. I know it's kind of sad that I'm lowering my standards but let's face it; Momusu isn't ever getting an expensive PV so I'll take a minimalistic PV that actually looks tasteful. Overall, I think Brainstorming is a decent looking PV and definitely one of the better ones Morning Musume has gotten lately. If you're a fan of Morning Musume but not a fan of cheap and tacky PVs, then I think you'll like watching the PV to Brainstorming! The dance is great, the outfits look good, the shots are nice; it's a bare bones PV but it works well as a bare bones PV!

I can absolutely and ecstatically give Brainstorming 4.5 out of 5 apples! I'm not exaggerating when I say the song is absolutely freaking awesome. Even if you're not a huge fan of Electro Musume, I'd give it a chance! You might like Brainstorming! The PV is good in terms of UFP and thankfully has no gaudy sparkles or crappy green screens in sight! I'm so happy that I'm able to give a really positive review of a Momusu song and PV; two separated people have commented that I'm a little harsh on H!P... But this review ain't over yet! We still have Round 2 of the Idol Smackdown of the century to go! So let's take a look at what I think of Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai!

Well... you probably already know how I feel about this song if you read my other little post about it.

Hoo boy, this song... how do I even begin to describe this song... well I spent several paragraphs describing this song so I'm sure I can do it again! Those of you who read my last post about Kimi Sae Iraba Nani mo Iranai know that I'm not the hugest fan of this song. In fact, I even wrote that I didn't like it that much and thought it was a pointless A-side that had nothing on the near-flawless Brainstorming. Now has my opinion perhaps... changed? Could it be that Nia's critical, bitter heart has melted to the point where she can give a glowing review of this song she formerly shot down? Nope! Look, when I develop an opinion of a song, I stick pretty close to it with a few very rare exceptions. I admit, Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai isn't my least favorite Morning Musume song but is sheer existence still continues to baffle me. You've got Brainstorming, this completely and totally awesome song that could stand on its own as an A-side... and then you've got Kimi Sae Ireblah. That's like going from driving a Ferrari to driving a broken-down station wagon your grandmother drove in the 80s. Okay, maybe that comparison is a little harsh but you get the point! Had Kimi Sae Ireblah never been recorded, I highly doubt anyone would be crushed. Still, I guess it is nice that Reina's final single, she gets not only one A-side to send her out but also two. And complaining about there being another A-side is one of the better thing to complain about, kind of like complaining about how Aki-P can complain about not having enough things to spend his swimming pool of money on. But hey, since this song exists, that means I get to criticize it so yay!

So what is it that I find so bad about Kimi Sae Ireblah? Well... honestly, Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai isn't really a bad song; it's just a weird song. I think that's the first word that comes to my mind when I listen to Kimi Sae Ireblah. Trying to figure out what Tsunku was thinking when he wrote this is both fascinating and confusing. I mean, was Tsunku high when he composed it? I just want to sit down with Tsunku and ask what the hell was running through his head when he was composing this song. The musical choices made in this song range from okay to bad to just... weird. It's like he cut snippets from a bunch of musical styles from a bunch of past Morning Musume songs and mashed them together. You know how I was saying that even though there was a lot of musical variety in Brainstorming, it worked because musically the song had a great flow and the transition into each differently styled verse felt smooth. In comparison to Brainstorming, Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai flows like a train wreck in the middle of an earthquake. I felt like there too many different styles crammed into this song. First, it's electropop! Now it's Platinum Era! Now it's pre-Platinum Era! The song sounds choppy and incomplete, like the first draft of a paper. I think maybe with some fine-tuning, this could have been a better sounding song but no, instead we get... this. Every time I listen to this song, I can never get over the sheer weirdness of this song's flow. I kind of have the same problem with Help me!! when I first listened to it as I thought there were too many different sounds and structures crammed into one song but at least that song grew on me. Kimi Sae Iraba Nani mo Iranai has yet to grow on me and at this rate, I doubt that's happening any time soon.

Remember how I was saying that Brainstorming was a near-perfect song and that I think it fine-tuned all the problem's Morning Musume's previous electropop songs had? Well, Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai is kind of on the opposite end of that spectrum. The song isn't even 100% electropop but when you get to the electropop parts, it's bad electropop. The opening instrumental sounds okay with the repetition of "2000 people on the dance floor" being only mildly annoying but then it all goes downhill when the vocals come in. The opening verses consist of rigidly structured duets laced with Autotune and my god does it sound bad. Listening to the Autotune in Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai makes me realize just how skilled Nakata Yasutaka is with Autotune and other vocoders. Unlike Perfume and Kyarypamyupamyu in which the vocal editing is meticulously and delicately crafted like a diamond being cut from the rough, Kimi Sae Ireblah's Autotune is sloppy and rough. The girls literally sound like robots; I don't even think the Autotune was this bad in One Two Three. Well... okay, maybe it was almost as bad as the Autotune in One Two Three. Beyond the god-awful electropop carelessly thrown around in this song, the other verses are for the most part okay but pretty forgettable. The chorus sounds like something I'd hear out of Platinum Era but considering Reina's peak was during Platinum Era, I suppose that's appropriate. I guess Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai does sound slightly more Reina-centric than Brainstorming since she does get the most solos (but still not many). Still, that doesn't take away from the sheer spastic weirdness of this song's musical structure.

So how are the actual vocals of Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai? Well, like I said in the last paragraph, the Autotune is terrible. Maybe not as bad as say, a Beckii Cruel song, but still pretty bad. What I hate also about these Autotuned verses though is that they're the only time when some of the lesser-pushed girls in the group get to sing. But really, you don't get to hear them sing thanks to the gratuitous Autotune heaped upon their voices. The entire song is much less evenly distributed than Brainstorming, but it doesn't reach the ridiculous levels of One Two Three or The Matenrou Show. I guess I wouldn't mind so much if the girls who were singing solos actually sounded good. The thing is, I don't like how the girls sound in this song at all. Together, they sound fine but the solos are completely out of range for singers like Riho and Sakura, especially Riho! What was so great about Brainstorming was that it had lower notes more suited to Riho's range and she sounded pretty good! But here, she reverts back to that nasally, poor imitation of Reina style voice because at this moment, she isn't capable of properly belting those higher notes. And surprisingly, Sakura in the one solo she has doesn't sound that good either; in fact, she sounds kind of nasally too. Ayumi sounds pretty average but I think she sang better in Brainstorming too. The only girls who sound good in this song are Reina and Mizuki and that's because they have voices suited to those higher-pitched songs. Overall, Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai is a strange song and not in a fun and interesting way either. The musical choices made in this song often don't work more than they do and the electropop in particular is very poorly done. When it comes to which song better, I absolutely prefer Brainstorming over this train wreck.

But wait! There's still a chance for Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai to redeem itself! After all, we haven't looked at the PV! Will this video be able to save Kimi Sae Ireblah from a crushing defeat? LET'S FIND OUT!!!

Well, the PV starts with a comic book-y font for the title drop.

Hey, there are only eleven people on the dance floor... you lied to me, Tsunku!

Oh, so now we're playing patty cake?

In motion, these costumes look decent but when they're not, they look like piss-yellow castoffs from the Chicago musical.

Wow, keep up these weird dance moves and you might be able to give the dance from S/mileage's Dot Bikini a run for its money!

I feel like I'm watching a marching band that was taken over by flappers.

Tell me this doesn't remind you of a marching band! I dare ya! I double dare ya!

What's this? Riho in a giant-ass bow? It's happening! She's physically turning into Reina! NO!

Reina sings her heart out while everyone else dances like malfunctioning robots.

Should I just go ahead and start writing a list of awkward dance moves I'm seeing in this PV?

Hey, at least Sakura's looking slightly less awkward in this PV!

I think that cameraman in the bottom right area is the real star of this PV!

I wonder if UFP gave the producers enough money to go out and buy actual curtains for this set or if they had to just dye the curtains from One Two Three...

Annnd we're back to marching band formations! Because they were so invigorating the first time around!

I'm surprised that Riho's the one wearing the giant bow in this PV and not Reina...

Okay, the hat worked for Haruka in Brainstorming. In this PV, it makes her look like a boy wearing a dress.

Once again, Haruna gets minor vocals in a song, much to my surprise!

...I'll just add this to the list of awkward dances moves.

Awww, are you guys trying to earthbend now? How cute!

Or maybe they're airbending- I know! They're BUDGET-BENDING!

This might look kind of badass if they weren't wearing the remnants of the PyokoPyoko Ultra outfits.

I'll bet they're pointing to that cameraman! See? I told you he's the real star of this PV!

♪Love and peace and Morning Musume and all that jazz!♫

This PV just wouldn't be complete without ending with that marching band dance!

Hey, why could this lighting have been used in the PV more? It looks awesome!

Oh boy, was this an awkward PV... well, one thing Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai's PV has got going for itself is that it's just as awkward as the song! I mean wow. That PV was definitely something... not sure what but it was something! Okay, so what works the most to this PV's disadvantage is that it only exemplifies the awkwardness of the actual song. I hold the belief that if a PV is done well, it can actually make a song more enjoyable/bearable to listen to! Both Gingham Check and UZA are songs I don't care for from AKB48's discography but both songs also got extremely awesome PVs that helped me forget that I disliked the actual music, even if only for a moment. Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai's PV kind of does the opposite. I wouldn't say the PV made the song sound worse just... awkward. This PV is one giant yarn ball of awkward! First of all, there's the fact that this PV is less of a PV and more of glorified dance shot. It's not as shameless of a cop-out as The Matenrou Show but Kimi Sae Ireba is shot in the same set and the few close-ups the viewer does see in the PV are just pulled from the faces the girls made during the dance shot. Then again, I'm reviewing a Hello! Project PV and not only that it's a PV to one A-side of two. I wouldn't be surprised if UFP told the director that he had to split his usual budget in half for each PV! So realizing that there was no hope of making Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai a good song, the director did the sensible thing and put a lot of budget into Brainstorming's PV and used the scraps on Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai. The PV could have just been a generic dance shot but no, there are a few elements to Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai an interesting PV.

Too bad the PV is interesting for all the wrong reasons!

By the time I had finished watching Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai's PV, my head was cocked and on my face was an expression of utmost bewilderment. My mind marvels at the thoughts of what the choreographer and costume designers were one when they came up with the dance and outfits for Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai. First of all, the costumes. Even without the strange choreography, these outfits are still a weird choice. They're basically flapper costumes and don't get me wrong, I think flapper costumes are pretty snazzy but they have to be done right. The problem with using flapper costumes is that they can look a little... well... odd at times. In motion, flapper costumes usually can look pretty great especially if there's lot of twirling and shaking in a dance. When the dancer is in motion, the fringe surrounding the costume will fan out and makes for a really dazzling and jazzy effect! However, I think flapper costumes were a poor choice for Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai because the dance doesn't have much upper torso movement. The dance mostly relies on footwork and hand motions, save for a few exceptions and the costumes don't look very flattering. I admit, the flapper costumes are not the worst costumes Morning Musume's ever gotten and I'd take them over Wakuteka Take a Chance, Help me!! or PyokoPyoko Ultra. Actually, the color of these outfits was very similar to the feathered chicken suits that were so loathed last year. I swear, what is UFP's fetish with highlighter yellow? I also thought the outfit's accessories clashed with the dresses themselves, especially Haruka's hat. The black combat boots and gritty black jewelry just don't mix well with the lighter flapper dresses. Again, these aren't the worst costumes I've ever seen but man, do they look awkward.

But you know what looks even more awkward? The dance! And considering the dance takes up about 90% of the PV, that's kind of a bad thing. I really want to know what and how this dance came to be because it's just so... odd. Especially when you compare it to some of Momusu's other recent dances; even Brainstorming follows in that trend of powerful and energetic dances with a lot of movement and different formations. Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai's dance looks like a marching band that lost all their instruments. The choreography consists of a lot of marching and moving into different formations and honestly, it's not that interesting. Even the girls look bored when they're doing this dance, especially Riho! I'll bet that dance is a piece of cake for her and Ayumi! When the girls aren't marching in place, they're either making another series of strange and odd dance moves that look like they were borrowed from the awkwardness of S/mileage's Dot Bikini dance. In fact, I feel like Dot Bikini and Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai have a lot more in common than you'd think when looking at them with the naked eye. You see, both PVs have awkward choreography, awkward costuming and were probably made with a budget smaller than a student film! Thank god Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai doesn't have any shitty MS Paint effects though... In my opinion, the PV for Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai matches the awkwardness of the song and while it's not the worst PV I've ever seen, the choices made in it, particularly the costuming and choreography are just weird. If you just wanna see the girls dancing like an awkward group of majorette's who stole some costumes from Chicago, then this PV is just for you! For me though, I'll pass.

Overall, the song and PV for Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai get 2.5 apples out of 5. In my opinion, the song is a too strange and musically choppy to really be enjoyable and only shows how Autotune can be used for both good and evil. The PV probably had as much budget as Brainstorming but somehow looks cheaper. I blame it one those bright yellow flapper dresses and the awkward dance. So now the real question is... who won the idol smackdown of the century?


I mean, duh. I think that was kind of obvious considering the way I was leaning towards Brainstorming constantly throughout my review! So you've heard my verdict; what's your personal favorite song? Brainstorming? Kimi Sae Ireba Nani mo Iranai? Neither one because you hate them both?


  1. Today I learned that the curtains actually weren't polygon figures.

    And good catch with the camera man.

    1. Ah, geometry. Can't live with it, can't live without it! I find it hilarious that the cameraman ended up the PV. At least it wasn't like a boom mic or something more obvious though!

    2. I just realized that the cameraman was removed in the version posted on their Youtube channel.

  2. Brainstorming was great!The song,the dance,the PV,it's like a giant "I'm sorry" and "If you don't like it,clean my boots!" My New Year wish was that Tsunku would start to use the budget,the contacts and the creativity we all know he have.I'm happy to see that now he is doing this all!

    Let's forget about Brainstorming a little and focus on The A-Side That No One Remember the Name by Head.

    The song is fairly OK for me.The Autotune it's irritating,I must admit.But there is a thing that I like about Help me!! and now with TASTNORTNBH:it's the raw polyrhythm on it.I love this quick transition that makes you ask "How the hell they got here?"And,seriously,the girls with that outfit looked like a tree holding a lot of hula skirts!Come on,they are quite grown up now,let them show the curves that (maybe) they have!I kinda miss the Koharu ages,because they were kinda sexy(and just by this,actually).And the budget was so low that in the YouTube version they darkened the whole PV for the cameraman dissapear in the darkness!!!!Rest in peace,camera-san.


    These two PVs are the first ones to be subbed in english and in Japanese officialy in Hello!Project.Congrats to them!

    1. Brainstorming is totally awesome, both the song and the PV. I never try to expect much in terms of budget for H!P PVs and while Brainstorming is still pretty cheap, it looks nicely done!

      Ah, Kimi Sae Ireblah blah blah. I don't even think I dislike this A-side but nonetheless, it's still an odd song with odd musical choices. Like in context, polyrhyhtm seems like a cool idea for this song but execution is messy and cluttered.

      The outfits for Kimi Sae Ireblah aren't much better but I personally don't think they're the worst Momusu's ever been dealt. They're pretty unflattering though. But on the up side, Brainstorming outfit's are good. Personally, I don't really think *all* the girls are at that mature stage yet to wear sexier clothing anyways, especially girls as young as Haruka, Masaki and Sakura. But their time will come!

      Congrats to H!P indeed! Personally, as a blogger who relies on screencapping PVs, the subs are actually more of an inconvenience to me though. I have to use Jpop Suki now to screencap H!P PVs so yeah... but hey, it's helpful for fans who don't speak Japanese!

  3. What a long post but worth reading! Totally agree that Brainstorming is better. What put me off about Kimi Sareba was the outfits and the song. I've grown onto the song but still would prefer Brainstorming, everything about that is so much better.

    1. Yes, double PVs reviews are very long. And very tedious. But totally worth it if you can get through one! Brainstorming is totally better, it blows Kimi Sae Ireba out of the water.