Whose Line is it Anyway? -The Worst Line Distribution I've Seen in Idol Music-

For my last post on line distribution, I tried my best to show some of the bright, shiny subversions of line distribution. The harsh truth is for a lot of idol music, cases of really even line distribution are rare. Most groups rely on lead singers and aces like a pair of crutches and it's inevitable that some girls will get shafted, especially with larger idol groups.

This is focusing on the worst of the worst.

To me there's bad line distribution and then there's bad line distribution. This goes beyond just having lead singers getting more lines than the others. This is having lead singers getting the only lines in the song, this is shafting everyone so fantastically you can't help but wonder how awkward the studio recording must have been. Once again, I've taken examples from idols that I follow and be warned: there's a lot of Morning Musume on this list. In fact... they even start off this list! So let's go to number 10, shall we?

10. One Two Three – Morning Musume: Starting off the list with the least bad distribution compared to everything else on the list is one of Morning Musume's more recent songs! Now I'll before you really get into this: there's a lot of Momusu. And why not? The group is notorious for having some of the most disproportionate line distribution in the idol industry! Every now and then, yeah, there's a hope spot that maybe their line distribution will get better but that's a sucker punch for their next song to have two girls singing lead. In this case, the two leads in question are Reina and Riho. Yay. Yeah, you all know I'm not the hugest fan of Riho and it doesn't help that she's Autotuned to hell (so much I nicknamed her RiDOS). I mean, if a song has bad line distribution but is still a good song then I can at least enjoy the song and ignore that aspect of it. While I do enjoy One Two Three a lot, it would be so much better to me if there were other girls singing it. Like girls in the group that can sing. Come one UFP, it's not like you're so lacking in the talent department of Momusu that you can only rely on two people to carry the songs! Oh well, maybe I'll get another hope spot for the 52nd single...

9. Busu ni Naranai Tetsugaku - Mobekimasu: Now this group was a cool idea! What a better throwback to the H!P All Stars than to have all the current idols in Hello! Project together again under one giant group! It could be just like old times where all the members could be put in groups and sing harmonious group solos- oh wait, except it's totally not. I was very surprised when I found out the line distribution for this song. The verses consists of nothing but duets and solos from all the popular girls of Morning Musume and everyone else doesn't even get to sing until the chorus kicks in. Even then, that's just each group singing one part and so on. And a lot of other people were also pretty miffed that only the faces of Hello! Project really got to sing on a song that was supposed to represent H!P as a whole. In letting only the popular girls sing, it felt less like MoBeKiMaSu and more like RisAiYuRiMaGaReMi. The song also didn't stand out to me and the sheer fact that the line distribution was bad only lowered my opinion of the song even more. Seriously, Manatsu no Sounds good! had more girls in it and they had better line distribution! Man, I wish I'd had a blog when this song was released so I could bitch about this song even more...

8. Limited Addiction – Tokyo Girls’ Style: Now this is actually one of the few songs on the list that I really, really like. In fact, it's probably my favorite TGS song because I think it perfectly captures that sound that works best for the girls. It's got an awesome intro that builds up to an even awesome-r song with the highlight being the sheer... awesomeness of Ayano's voice. You think pre-teen girls can't sing because their voices haven't developed? Listen to Limited Addiction and see if Ayano can change your mind. Speaking of Ayano... the song is pretty much her and Hitomi. True, Mei, Yuri and Miyu do get a few small-ish solo lines but the song is still pretty much just those two leading. I mean, in past TGS songs, Hitomi and Ayano had lead a lot of the songs but it always felt a little more balanced than it does here. As great as I think Limited Addiction is, the only time the other three members get to sing is in the chorus and even than they only get to sing part of that so Ayano can blow everyone away with her amazing voice. But yeah, the verses also consist of just Ayano and Hitomi singing. So does the line distribution ruin the song for me? Well... no. Not really. Limited Addiction is a damn awesome song regardless of the disproportionate vocal distribution!

7. The Matenrou Show – Morning Musume: Oh, UFP, how many ways did you mess up this single? Aside from this A-side being promoted like a B-side, one of the many things I dislike about this song is that it has terrible line distribution. Okay, so One Two Three's was also really bad but choosing between the two songs, I'm glad One Two Three got the huge promotion instead of this song! Okay, that's like picking which level of electroshock you wanna get but still! This entire song is just Reina and Riho bouncing back and forth with the vocals, much like two banshees swinging across trees. Everyone else gets to sing parts of the song but it's usually just backing vocals. The members who definitely get the shortest end of the already short stick are Haruna, Eripon, Zukki and Haruka; they pretty much get only backing vocals. I guess I'd be a little less angry with this song if I actually liked the idols who are leading it but as I've said on more than one occasion, I don't care for Riho and I'm not particularly fond of Reina either. Neither one of them sounds really good in this song either; hell, everyone sounds bored out of their minds in The Matenrou Fail. And shouldn't they? I'll bet the recording for everyone who's not Riho/Reina was almost as dull as recording for the next song was!

6. Mr. Moonlight ~Ai no Big Band~ – Morning Musume: Look, I love this song. I really love this song and it’s sure as hell one of my favorite Morning Musume songs ever. The PV is just as flawless as the song mainly because of the hot, smoldering bifauxnen flawlessness of Yossie. But… even though I adore this song I think everyone kind of forgets that basically only three people sang this song. At the time this song was made, there were thirteen members of Morning Musume. That's ten girls standing around signing "Mr. Moonlight!" and "Lalala!" every so often in this song. They don't even get to sing in the chorus! It feels a little weird to be putting a song I adore so much in the Top 5 but I can't deny that it has some really poorly done line distribution. It does little to showcase the new 5th Generation (save for Gaki's opening solo) and it had more focus on the two aces of the group (Nacchi and Maki) and Yossie because this song has her name written all over it! The weird thing is, despite the bad distribution I can't see this song being sung by anyone else. So even though I love this song, in the end I can acknowledge that the line distribution still sucks... Eh, who cares? YOSSIE!!!

5. SHOCK! – C-ute: I wish I'd been following C-ute around the time they released this single because I really wanted to see how other people reacted to it. So in the past, C-ute has always had shaky line distribution at best. I think a lot of people were used to Airi and Maimi getting the most lines with everyone else getting one every now and then to keep the fandom calm. Looking at their past PVs, I noticed that a lot of girls got shafted but not really shafted... is there even a difference? Well, for Shock! there was and this time around it wasn't Airi and Maimi leading the song. It was just Airi. Lots and lots of Airi. I mean seriously, she has chunks of lines where she sings and all the other girls of C-ute just awkwardly dance in the background with these really pissed off expressions on their faces. I love Airi and her epic derpiness but even I think that Shock! had way too much of her! And salt on the wound was that Erika had just graduated and this was the first song to feature 5nin C-ute. More like 1nin C-ute! Get it? Yeah... I guess you do. When I first saw the PV, it was very disheartening to see such a horrible shaft of four other really talented idols. Fortunately, now judging by their current singles I think UFP has managed to give all the C-ute girls pretty even line distribution and hopefully nothing as shocking as Shock! will happen again!

4. ONLY YOU – Morning Musume: Maji Desu ka Ska! was a hope spot for me. It was the first current single I saw released after discovering Morning Musume and as I said in my last list, the line distribution was great. I was excited for Only You and hopeful that the trend would continue! Naturally, my hopes and dreams for an equal Momusu were sadistically crushed by UFA and the Ai/Reina show that had been so prevalent in the Emo Musume era. Now I wasn't around when this era was in full swing but I listened to the songs, I saw how Ai and Reina dominated vocally. Only You could pretty much blend in with those songs because Ai and Reina are all over it. It was also my first taste of Riho the Ace I'm Not Okay With. Look, I was wary of Riho even during the auditions because I feared that if she got in, then UFA would dump all the promotion on her and shaft everyone else in the 9th Generation. Only You proved that I was right although I sorely hoped it was just a one-time thing. Now, five singles later with Riho still in the center, I was horribly right. These three make up 90% of the song and every now and then one of the other members gets a line or duet but yeah. It's the Ai and Reina Show Featuring Riho. And I'm not okay with that.

3. Resonant Blue – Morning Musume: You! You started this! You started this whole trend of Ai and Reina being the only people to get lines in Morning Musume singles! Actually no, but this was the first song in a long time that had a really disproportionate amount of lines for each member. I mean, up until this point I could tell that there had been leads but there had also been minor vocalists to back them up and everyone got a least one line here or there. But with Resonant Blue, the song is pretty much Ai and Reina with Koharu popping up every few verses or so. In that sense, it reminds me a lot of Only You except Riho replacing Koharu and at least the girls got to sing actual words. Here, everyone else sans Gaki and Eri only sing "Fu!" "Wow~" and other various sex noises. And even Gaki and Eri barely get to sing much outside the chorus and two little duets. The song is Ai and Reina and from what I've read digging through old reviews from other blogs, not a lot of people were happy with that. Also, people were pretty divided about giving Koharu vocals considering her lack of... vocal talent. I do admit, of all the minors to go with Koharu seems like an odd choice to me but I guess she was good promotion material. Still, this song did a crapsack job of promoting everyone else and that trend has continued to this very day for Momusu!

2. Furusato – Morning Musume: Here it is. The song that started it all. When I say "all" I mean the trend of giving Morning Musume really crappy line distribution. Hell, Furusato is notorious for having line distribution at is worst for Momusu. I mean, the color-coded lyrics speak for themselves! The text is nothing but red with a few backup harmonies thrown in here and there. Whenever someone complains about the bad line distribution in Morning Musume, there will always be someone to pop up and say "Well, you should just get used to it because they've had the lines done like this since Furusato. Newb." It's pretty clear that Nacchi is the ace of the old Morning Musume in this song, at least until Goto Maki came prancing in. I will say, despite its notoriety, I actually think it's a very pretty song. However, I think it should have just been released as a solo single for Nocchi instead of dragging six other very talented (and probably very jealous) other girls into the mix. You know, I've always wondered how the other idols who don't get a lot of lines feel about that. Do they mad? Do they get bummed? Do they just get used to it? Oh well, at this rate I'll never know unless one just pulls up to my driveway and wants to give an English interview!

You might be wondering what song could possibly top Furusato in terms of bad line distribution? I didn't think anything else could and the song was originally in my number one spot. But then I looked up the color-codes for one more group and the minute I saw them, the song in question skyrocketed to the number one spot. Yes, the song I have found with the worst line distribution ever is none other than...

1. More Kiss – Fairies: This song. This... I need to explain something. I haven't really emphasized this much but poor line distribution in a song can turn me off from a new group. It's that important to me. I can't suck it up and deal with it because my reasoning is why should I listen to a group if it's not even really a group? For that reason, More Kiss turned me off from Fairies faster than a light switch. I don't care if they all look good, I don't care if Momoka has a good voice, I don't care if they can all dance, when you have seven girls and only use one to sing an entire fucking song I'm not going to get interested. Look up the color-coded lyrics to this song. Seriously, do that now. The whole song is highlighted in pink. Freaking pink! Literally nobody else gets to sing in this song, not even to do harmonies. At least the Momusu girls got some harmonies to back up Nacchi! Here it is 100% Momoka and that really pisses me off. Avex isn't exactly known for stellar line distribution but I've never seen it get this bad. I don't even know why it was released under a group; it's a solo single with glorified backup dancers. From what I've seen, the line distribution has gotten marginally better since More Kiss but it's still not enough for me to get interested in this group.

So I've decided to make one more little poll just to balance out the first poll. The poll question is Which idol group do you think has the worst line distribution? The options are the same as the first poll so be careful not to get the polls mixed up!

Nia's Best (and Worst) of 2011!

I have to be honest, 2011 was probably not the best year for me to get into idol music. I probably should have gotten interested in 2009 but as I was still in the Perfume phase (in which Perfume was the only group I listened to) I did not. But I intend to find the best in idol music in 2011 and all those songs that did (and still) piss me off. So let's get started with something positive!

Nia's Top 5 Singles of 2011

5. First off, Kono Chikyuu yo... whatever the hell it was called, really didn't do much for me. Granted, it was better than all the angsty crap Momosu had been spewing for the past 4 years but to me it was generic and Ai/Reina ft. Gaki/Riwhore. Then we got the acid trip of a PV for Kare to Issho... and I was hooked! I loved it! It wasn't annoying like Maji Desu ka Ska or reptitive like Kono Chikyuu; it had just enough craziness and just enough energy to make it this over-the-top but in a good way song! I think it was wise to let Sayu and Reina lead this and chunk Ai in the back because their voices fit perfectly. That's the problem with Sayu's voice; it only sounds good in some songs but when it does sound good... trust me, the result is worth it.



4. Despite the fact, that this song's PV creeped out/fascinated me, I adore the song. I was hoping they would go in a softer direction than the "edgier" singles from 2010 and 2009. RIVER was hardcore and so was Beginner but with Kaze wa Aki-P toned it down and it shows. From the gentle strumming of the guitar in the opening to the muted, but still powerful vocals of the group it's a lot less about not giving up and staying strong but about looking over pain and hurt from the past and finding a way to move on. To me, that's what really makes me enjoy this song. I really love idol songs with substance or songs that tend to stray away from the norm (i.e. Seifuku ga Jama wo Suru, Keibetsu Shitaita Aijou). To me, AKB tried something a little bit different and they managed to pull it off successfuly.

Also, I happened to bomb my first SAT around the time this song came out. Just saying.



3. I really wasn't sure which TGS song to put here. Believe me, it was difficult. At first, I thought Koudou no Himitsu because that was the point where I assume the manager of Avex just said "Oh fuck it. These girls obvsiouly aren't beating those 48 groups. Do whatever the hell you want with them." and the artisitc director went crazy. I also considered Liar but in the end I chose Limited Addiction because I think that's the point where TGS really perfected that distinct style they'd started developing in Kodou no Himitsu. The backing track has such a distinct, kinda 90s style beat, and it's perfectly coupled with the girls' vocals. Have I mentioned I love the way TGS sounds vocally. They don't sound so cutesy like other idol groups, especially Hitomi's flawless vocals (guess who my bias is?). Overall, to me this song was interesting. In the good way. It pulled me in and started what you could call my addiction to TGS. And I can't wait to see what these girls will pull next.



2. WHOA! Tsunku! Since when did you start... caring about C-ute? I swear, every since Dance de Bakoon! their singles just got better and better. It's like Tsunku's apology for the snoozefest of Campus Life and the line-whoring of SHOCK! I think it was really wise for Tsunku to make Chissa lead plus Airi and Maimi. I think the strong vocals were what made this song so appealing along with the great instrumental and use of effects. I think one of my favorite parts of this song is the echoing Nee~ and Please~. I think it just really adds a cool effect to the song. The English are actually really good too; the song is basically about a girl giving in to the lust locked up inside her she feels for someone else and losing herself in it. That's pretty heavy stuff for an idol group but I think C-ute pulled it off perfectly. It isn't ironic? The group is called C-ute yet some of their best songs are sensual and edgy (Tokaikko Junjou, Namida no Iro, Forever Love). I really hope they go back to this direction and not the bile that is Sekaiichi HAPPY na Onna no ko.



1. Do I even have to say it? This year, S/mileage dropped a bomb or ten on its fans with member auditions, graduations, and GOD-AWFUL TACHIAA- no. We'll get to that later. Right now, we're focusing on the S/mileage the fans knew and loved first. That 4nin little group of Eggs and all that chemistry they had. And you can really see that in Uchouten Love. The energetic beat, the vocals of the girls, the surprisingly fun PV all combined to make this really good single. But added to this song is a bittersweet note of nostalgia; just after it was released, Saki graduated. And under short notice too so we fans didn't exactly have the months of months of preparation like we did for Ai. This song isn't just a happy go-lucky parapara song of ecstatic love, it shows an era of S/mileage that's never coming back. And in a weird way, I think it makes this song kind of sad but also beautiful at the same time.

Honorable Mentions

- AKB48: Flying Get
- AKB48: Sakura no Ki ni Narou
- Berryz Koubou: Heroine ni Narou ka!
- BiS: Primal
- French Kiss: Kakkowarui I love you!
- French Kiss: Saisho no Mail
- Mano Erina: My Days for You
- Passpo: Vivi Natsu
- S/mileage: Please Miniskirt Post Woman!
- SDN48: MIN MIN MIN
- SKE48: Banzai Venus!
- SKE48: Pareo wa Emerald
- Sukeban Girls: Tsupparu Riyuu
- TOKYO GIRLS' STYLE: Kodou no Himitsu
- TOKYO GIRLS' STYLE: Liar/W.M.A.D
- Watarirouka Hashiritai: Hetappi Wink

It's nice to have singles you really enjoy. But much like Star Wars, with every light side, there is always a dark side.

So I bring you...

Nia's Worst 5 Singles of 2011



5. When Buono! came back, I expected it to be awesome. I waited with baited breath for that rockish, pop-punk trio of three of the best members of H!P. Instead we got Zassou no Uta, which wasn't bad but definitely a change from the Buono! we knew and loved. Then this song came along and we got... Airi ft. Momoko and Miyabi!? Good lord, they're Buono! not v-u-den! Airi is not Rika; her terribly done monologue to pad the bridge in the song proves it! The reason why I have such a moody relationship with H!P is their line distribution and this song really isn't helping. I admit, Airi sounds lovely as usual but Miyabi has a voice too! Let her use it! Line distribution problems on the side, I find this song to be really boring. It's kind of like that generic soothing song I always hear at Bath and Body Works (except in Japanese...). It's summer? Great, that's something awesome to celebrate! Except Buono! sounds completely out of it... the lackluster composition of the song and the awkward vocals just don't appeal to me. And UFA, I love Airi but have you ever heard of too much a good thing? Look it up.



4. What does this song even sound like? No seriously, I forgot. I've listened to this song five times and I still can't get it to stick in my mind. Isn't that sad? In fact, I found this whole group to be just a sad rip-off of Mobekimasu which happens to be a rip-off itself of both H!P All Stars and AKB48. Speaking of AKB48... this song is Sakura no Shiori UFA style. I'm serious; the PVs are eerily similar: the outfits, the concept, the RIPPING OFF. It's like they took a quick look at Sakura no Hanabiratachi 2008 then at Sakura no Shiori, decided to put the two together with a tenth of the budget, and came out with this half-assed attempt to get wotas to buy more stuff from their two idol groups combined. UFA could have done something so much more interesting with this group but no. They just went in the Sakura blossoms = SALES direction.



3. GAH! KILL IT WITH FIRE! ...As you can tell I don't enjoy this song. However, I think it's less of the song and more of the members I don't enjoy. First of all: no Saki. You've lost her so the obvious solution would be to use those new members to make up for her lack of vocals, right? WRONG. Second: where are those sub-members guys? *peaks behind CGI UFO* Oh, there they are! Nice glowsticks, newbies! I was considering putting Koi ni Booing Buu! on here but Tachiagaaru has rightfully earned its place on my bottom 5. Aside from the poor use of the new members, the song is generic and forgettable. At least with Koi ni Booing Buu! I actually remembered something about that song. Sure, it was the fact that my beloved S/mileage had been turned into pigs but at least it was something! UFA just took a few random concepts, threw them in, and it went nowhere. Luckily, S/mileage redeemed itself with Please Miniskirt Post Woman! but my final verdict won't be out until Chotto Matte Kudasai.



2. Although I find Maji Desu ka Ska! both annoying and displaying the very apparent age gap in Momosu, I'll give it credit for one thing: it didn't revert to overused, gloomy Emomosu unlike THIS single. I swear, if I put this single's release date as 2009 do you think anyone would notice. It's boring. So. Damn. Boring. It's basically another weepy, angst-filled melodrama starring Ai and Reina featuring Gaki and Eri- I mean Riwhore! Another thing: UFA, Riho cannot sing. She can dance, so why don't you just pull a Hyoyeon and give her dance solos or something (though now not even poor Hyoyeon gets those...). She sounds like nails on a chalkboard after they've just taken a sedative. She added nothing to the song and frankly she was bored. Arrogant and bored. I don't like boring idols. Why else do think my biases are Sayu and Reina. Aside from the Riwhoring, the verses are awkwardly done and the verses that do sound good are pointlessly Autotuned to hell. Seriously, you use the Autotune on the best singer in Momosu but can't spare any for Riwhore? I'm listening to her more than Gaki! On top of that the song was choppy, the lyrics were cheesy, and I'd appreciate it if we could just forget this song and all of Emomosu.



1. WHY? Why Aki-P!? Why do you have to make the janken singles so boring!? Are you just already resigning to yourself that because the Senbatsu isn't regular Senbatsu they're going to crash and burn so you're not going to waste your time with them hence you're just going to throw some stupid-ass lyrics together and let that inconvenient single just slide by? As you can tell... this song makes me furious. And it's not just the fact that it's lazy and half-assed and sounds like an H!P B-side. They had Mariko as center; that's the best you can do with her. Throw in some cheesy story about Mariko-sensei inspiring a nervous girl to rise to the top? You couldn't think of ANYTHING else? I was just really let down. Here I was thinking that Aki-P would really put his best into it with a popular member as center but instead? We're stuck with this piece of crap. Nice job, AKBitches. You'd better come back better in 2012. I'll be watching. And waiting.

And P.S. one more thing, Aki-P: DROP THE JANKEN PVS. Just because you decide your senbatsu via janken doesn't mean you have to revolve each janken single around janken!!! Just... ARGH!

Dishonorable Mentions

- AKB48: Everyday, Katyusha
- Berryz Koubou: Ai no Dangan
- C-ute: Momoiro Sparkling
- C-ute: Sekaichii HAPPY na Onna no ko
- DiVA: Tsuki no Uragawa
- Kikkawa Yuu: Hapirapi ~Sunrise~
- Kitahara Sayaka: Yappa Seishun
- Mobekimasu: Busu ni Naranai Tetsugaku
- Momoiro Clover Z: Roudou Sanka
- Morning Musume: Maji Desu ka Ska!
- NMB48: Oh My God!
- SKE48: Oki Doki
- Watarirouka Hashiritai: Kibou Sanmyaku

So because apparently the world is ending next year, I expect some good stuff to come out next year. Don't disappoint me or else I'll... what the hell will I do? Hrm. Oh well, apparently I have to prepare for the end of the world (?).