Freshly Squeezed for a Major Debut

Well, after years and years of hard work behind the scenes as an independent idol group, I'm proud to say that Juice=Juice has finally worked their way to the big league of Hello! Project. It just warms my heart that such a persevering idol group has finally been able to achieve their dreams of majorly debuting after such a long time in indies- oh wait, am I getting Juice=Juice mixed up with S/mileage? Gosh darn it to heck! Yeah, talk about a short time as an indie group, huh? I count what, seven months? Look, I don't have much of an opinion on how much time Juice=Juice, Tsunku's shiny new toy, was around before their major debut. They've had their major debut now, and there's nothing I can do about it except give my two cents on how Juice=Juice's first single under a major label turned out. With Aina suddenly leaving the group, I was curious to see how her departure would effect the group's upcoming single, Romance no Tochuu. After all, the song had been recorded, the PV filmed, and promotional shots taken with Aina included. Having to redo the entire single without her was kind of a big deal for UFP. But the deed was done and Romance no Tochuu was transformed into a triple A-side, the two additional A-sides being "Memorial Edits" of Juice=Juice's first two indie singles. So does Juice=Juice still have what it take to be juicy? And more importantly... how many fruit puns can I make in this review? Only one way to know for sure... let's review!

Covers/Outfits

Lemme go ahead and warn you, all six of the cover's for Romance no Tochuu epitomize the well-enforced legend that Hello! Project churns out some of the tackiest, cheapest, most poorly shopped covers of any idol industry. I mean... it's almost hilarious at just how utterly Hello! Project these covers are. The bright colors, the obviously photoshopped backgrounds, the sloppy editing, the fonts... The sheer gaudiness of all these covers is making me giggle like a six-year old! But in all seriousness, these covers are god-awful in that special way that only Hello! Project can make god-awful single covers. I mean, just look at the Limited A edition at the top of this review. Overly-bright blue background surrounded by a highlighter-yellow frame with five idols poorly shopped into the mix? I can't help but laugh at the over-the-top gaudiness of that! But that's not even the best of the covers for this single. I think the winner of the "Most Hilariously Terrible Cover" is split between the Limited C and Limited D. Such different types of tackiness, which one to pick from!? It's too overwhelming.

On one hand, Limited C has some weird "rainbow space" background awkwardly shopped behind the girls, but then Limited D looks like the opening of a shitty 90s television show for little kids. I think I will go with Limited D for the worst of these covers, mainly because of how overly simple it looks. The primary colors look childish, especially compared with the outfits the girls are wearing in the single, and the formatting looks hilariously dated. Of course, Limited B, Limited E, and Regular aren't exempt from this tacky cheapness! They have their fair shares of... odd stylistic choices. Like the groovy yellow background the girls were shopped in front of for Regular. And the basic primary-color backgrounds used for Limited E. Not to mention the blatant green-screen pastels for Limited B! Bottom line is, if you're looking for some good-old fashioned Hello! Project single covers to laugh at, the covers for Juice=Juice will provide much entertainment value.

Romance no Tochuu

And here we have the one new song on the single, Romance no Tochuu aka Romance Is on the Way! Even before Aina left, I was eagerly anticipating the sound of Juice=Juice's first A-side under a major label. Would it follow the same cool, hip style of the group's first two indie singles? Or would it follow in the unfortunate direction of the agonizingly bland Ten Made Nobore? I hoped not, and after Aina left, I wondered even more how this would affect Romance no Tochuu, if at all. So I've listened to the song several times now, and my overall impression that I've gotten from it is... it's funky. Not as funky as the majority of Tokyo Girls' Style's discography, but still pretty funk. One of the distinctive aspects of Romance no Tochuu that separates it from the two other A-sides from Juice=Juice's indie era is the sheer amount of funkiness radiating from the song. Because Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne and Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru were both songs that leaned toward a cooler tone than funky. Romance no Tochuu goes in the other direction.

I will say one common factor all three of these A-sides share is that they're all heavy on the brass instrumentals. Tsunku must be on a brass high when he's composing all of Juice=Juice's songs. The song that Romance no Tochuu actually reminds me of the most is Daite Hold on Me, a Morning Musume song from way back when 90s fashion was finally coming to a much-needed decline. I know that's a bit of a distant comparison, but listen to Romance no Tochuu and Daite Hold on Me back-to-back. Come on, you gotta admit they sound at least a little bit similar. Maybe not exactly, but at least in general sound! No matter what song Romance no Tochuu reminds me of, I honestly think this was a pretty strong song to majorly debut with. For the most part, I thought Romance no Tochuu played to Juice=Juice's image as a "cool" idol group very well. The song has a distinctly funky sound, some very catchy hooks, and not to mention lovely vocals from the lovely Karin (although Sayuki and Tomoko match Karin just as well too).

So the covers for Romance to Tochuu fell into the pitfall that is Hello! Projects stylistic budget. Did the PV fall victim to the same thing? Nope! You can pop out the champagne and throw on a party hat, because this is a Hello! Project PV that actually had effort put into it! Somewhat. If you know how H!P rolls with their PVs by now, I think you can figure out what I mean when I say "effort." We all know Hello! Project has... trouble with presenting their idol groups in music videos that are visually appealing and don't look like they had a budget obtained from the profits a 6-year old would get running a lemonade stand. On the spectrum of Hello! Project PVs ranging from "Hey! They had enough money to make a nice-looking PV" to "Yikes, it was one of those budget-scraping weeks when this PV was filmed, wasn't it?" the PV for Romance no Tochuu fortunately leans much more towards the former side of the spectrum. Sure, the PV still consists of mainly just dance shots and close-ups, but the editing is nice and the PV has the girls in different outfits, which is always a big deal for Hello! Project PVs.

Mainly because this means the directors took the time to film the girls in separate outfits and film separate dance shots and close-ups. There are three outfits the girls wear in this PV: the houndstooth print outfits featured in the covers, the simple, but pretty white outfits, and the... Saved by the Bell outfits? Yeah, I don't know what the costume designers were smoking when they decided the girls needed to look like extras for the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. But all the other outfits and shots in this PV are actually pretty elegant, and I like that the outfits give the separate shots more diversity. The set for the dance shot and close-ups reminds me of the gilded design used for The Great Gatsby movie, albeit more colorful. Which is my way of saying it looks fancy for a Hello! Project set. And notice that Juice=Juice must have swiped the chairs from C-ute's Kiss Me Aishiteru for their close-up scenes. In my opinion, Romance no Tochuu's PV fared well for H!P; it could have been so much worse but the PV we got actually looked very classy.



In the end, I decided to give Juice=Juice's first song as a major-label group four and half apples out of five. While maybe not as strong as the song they first debuted with, Romance no Tochuu is funky and fresh enough that I can get down to it in ways that only an awkward white girl can.

Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne (Memorial Edit)

Ah, Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne, the first taste of Juice=Juice we ever got. Now this is what you call a standout debut song. The bursting saxophone, the catchy chorus, the sheer amount of energy... I thought this was a great debut song, and even now, I still think it's one of the best songs we've seen from 2013 in idol music. So to find that it would be getting a remix (or "Memorial Edit") had me a little apprehensive. Best-case scenario was that this Memorial Edit would just feature re-recorded vocals to fill the solos left from Aina leaving Juice=Juice. Worst case scenario was... an actual remix. I'm not saying that Tsunku is bad at remixing songs but... look, you can't just add a few skips and sound manipulations and think that's going to make for a good remix. The process of editing a song is challenging, especially if the original song is already strong on its own. The remix has to compliment the original but also have enough twists and turns (and ones that work) to distinguish itself from the original. Producers like Yasutaka Nakata excel in making good remixes; Tsunku does not.

Hell, I think I've heard fans who can remix songs better than he can. The Memorial Edit of Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne doesn't make so many changes you can't recognize the song, but there are enough changes that I was... disgruntled with. One of the biggest changes of the song that I had the biggest problem with was that ongoing saxophone solo during the instrumental bits. You know, that really catchy opening to the song, that set up such a great tone for the rest of Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne? Yeah, that got completely butchered in the Memorial Edit. Overall, the changes made to such a strong song felt unnecessary. Like the old saying goes, if it ain't broke, don't fix it! Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne was such a great song, and in comparison, the Memorial Edit pales extremely in comparison. I thought this was a sloppy remix, and I'm just thankful that not so much of the original song got skewed to hell for the Memorial Edit.

Due to reasons of Aina jumping ship, an alternate PV for Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne was shot with the five remaining members using the Memorial Edit. Now I think we all remember the original PV. It was a shot a cheaply minimalistic set and half the girls in Juice=Juice looked like deer in the headlights instead of comfortable performers. So does the alternate PV fix all the problems I noticed in the original PV? Well... I'll say yes and no. The new PV for Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne is nearly as cheap as the original PV. The girls still dance in an extremely barren white set, and the only other shots in the PV are the close-ups. I do think they tried to at least spruce up the colors in this PV though. The original PV was very monochromatic, with the only splashes of color being the bright jewelry the girls were wearing. The new PV isn't quite so colorless; the new outfits are very floral and keep up with the stylishly modern theme the members of Juice=Juice seem to get with every new single.

There's some nice shadowing in the dance shot, and the contrast between the white and colors aesthetically pleasing. The original close-ups were just pitch-black backdrops, but the ones used for Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne (Memorial Edit) are different colors that match each girl's individual group color. Beyond those changes, there's not really much about this new PV that makes it stand out from the original. It all really just depends on your personal opinion, which style you prefer, and whether or not you like Juice=Juice with or without Aina. For me, I think this was an all right PV, but if it were never made, I wouldn't exactly be marching to UFP's headquarters and demanding a PV for Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne (Memorial Edit). At this point, I have pretty low expectations for all Hello! Project PVs so by H!P standards, I guess you could argue this is a pretty good PV. In the end, my dislike for the Memorial Edit itself is probably not going to make me want to watch this new PV in the future.



This Memorial Edit only gets two and a half apples from me. I can't emphasize enough that the original Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishmenakya ne is so much better than this half-assed remix. I will admit this remix wasn't terrible... just very, very unnecessary.

Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru (Memorial Edit)

With Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne, I had a very strongly positive impression of it upon my first listen. When Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru came out shortly after, my response was... not quite as enthusiastic as it had been with Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne. Still, I didn't think Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru was a horrible song; by my standards, it can even be considered pretty good! But in comparison to Juice=Juice's first indies single, this second indies single just didn't pack quite as much of a punch. It was still a very catchy song and had a lot of that snazzy brass instrumentation! So after hearing the wreck of a Memorial Edit for Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne, I feared immensely for how Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru was going to get butchered. A rip of the Memorial Edit for the song leaked online, and Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru pretty much got the same type of remix Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya did. Which really just means that the changes to the song were sloppily done by someone who is clearly not skilled in the field or song remixes.

But Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru didn't get quite the large amount of changes that Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya did. In fact, I think the only really prominent change made to this song, was the the opening trumpets were distorted. Sure, that made for a not-so-fantastic way to open the song, but beyond that, I don't think much of this song was touched beyond redistributing Aina's solos. And a plus about the new line distribution is that Tomoko got a few of Aina's solos! She kind of got the vocal shaft for Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne (Memorial Edit) and she's kinda-sorta turning out to be my bias in Juice=Juice so yeah... I'm happy about that! I will admit, since the original and Memorial Edit of Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru are so similar, I'd rather a new B-side just have been recorded for this single. I do like Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru but I don't exactly need two versions of it to get into this song.

I get the feeling that UFP really wanted to sweep Aina's sudden departure from Juice=Juice under the rug, because Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru (Memorial Edit) also got a PV. And much like the PV for Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne (Memorial Edit), the PV for Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru (Memorial Edit) doesn't really add much. The original was slightly less cheap-looking than Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne, with an attempt at making an actual set. And some close-ups showing rain cause you know, the song mentions rain and all. The umbrellas the girls used in the original PV were nice too, very bright and summery. So what's different about this new PV other than the obvious lack of Aina? Well, there are these mysteriously silhouetted trumpet players jamming out to the song in a completely separate shot! It's not the coolest thing since the Perfume's Laser Beam PV, but it's always nice seeing an idol PV featuring people besides the idols themselves.

The set used for the dance set in this PV looks much more like a stage than the original PV, especially with the spotlights in the background. I actually think I noticed the dance for Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru in this PV a lot more than I did in the original PV. Don't know why... maybe there was just more of an emphasis on the dance shot than the close-ups? One thing I forgot to mention while I was talking about the PV for Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne is that the members of Juice=Juice look so much more comfortable in these new PVs. Like seriously, Karin and Sayuki finally figured out how to work their angles on the camera and stop looking like awkward monkeys! Beyond that, I have just about the same opinion of the PV for Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru (Memorial Edit) as I did for Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne (Memorial Edit). I think the PV's all right, even if it's your standard H!P fare, but it's not exactly the kind of PV you need to watch to enjoy the song. I guess if you want to see what this song would have looked like without Aina, this gives a nice look.



Well, I can safely say that Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru (Memorial Edit) didn't get anywhere near as trashed as Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishmenakya ne (Memorial Edit), but I'm only giving this song three and half apples. It sounds so close to the original, I just don't see much of a point in remixing it and throwing it onto this single.

The Verdict

For a major debut single, I think Juice=Juice got a bit of a mixed bag. The "main" A-side, Romance no Tochuu, in my opinion, was the best of the three A-sides featured on this single. It was fun, funky, and had a distinctive feel to it. I think what surprised me most about this single was that there were no B-sides, and honestly, I would have liked to see at least one on there. I'd already heard Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne and Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru; would it have killed Tsunku to write just one more song to fill this single? I might not be complaining about that had the Memorial Edits for the other two A-sides on this single actually improved the songs they were remixing. As I elaborated on earlier, I found the Memorial Edit to be Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne to be particularly poorly done. Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru's Memorial Edit fared a bit better, but that's nothing spectacular.

In my opinion, these two A-sides included on the single just weighed it down. To be fair, I don't think Aina's departure was the reason for the lack of B-sides and re-recorded A-sides. Apparently before she'd left, Tsunku had already planned to do Memorial Edits for Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne and Samidare Bijo ga Samidareru. Either way, that doesn't mean I'm going to suppress my wishes for a more substantial single. In all honesty, I'm probably just going to listen to the original songs in lieu of these Memorial Edits. One, because they're just better and two, there aren't enough changes in the Memorial Edits that I feel as though I can equally enjoy the original and the remix. It's not like Perfume's edge and edge (⊿-mix) where both songs can stand alone as really good songs. Overall, I guess my verdict for Romance no Tochuu/WgIMnDn (Memorial Edit)/SBgS (Memorial Edit) is... mixed to positive? If you really want to hear Juice=Juice's old songs without Aina, you'll probably like this single more than I did. For me, Romance no Tochuu was good, and I'm hoping that their next single will offer more new material.

I think Juice=Juice, despite being such a young group, has gone off to a very promising debut. Now the trick is to see if Tsunku can keep up the momentum and not get bored with Juice=Juice several singles into their career. For now, I'll give their major debut single three and half out of five apples and eagerly keep an eye out for whatever release the group is taking on next!

A Juicy Debut for Juice=Juice

S/mileage, get lost. You've been replaced by Juice=Juice.

Well, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit. After all, I wouldn't just drop a group I try to regularly review from my review list completely just because another similar group stole their thunder! Of course not! It's not like I neglected to review Tabidachi no Haru ga Kita because of how boring it was! Or that I've generally been giving less and less of a shit about S/mileage especially in the wake of a new Hello! Project group finally being introduced into the mix! Seriously, how long has it been since a new group was formed? Four years? Feels like longer, especially since I became an idol blogger... Seriously, I think we can all agree that Hello! Project has been due for a new group, especially after S/mileage's... de-evolution to put it nicely. But I'm not writing a whole post to bitch about S/mileage. Let's talk about the juicy new group known as Juice=Juice!

Ah, Juice=Juice... okay, I'm not gonna lie, that has got to be one of the silliest idol group names I've heard in my brief time as an idol blogger. It's not as silly as say Sexy All Sisters or Baby Gamba but it's definitely one of the less appealing idol group names out there. Not to mention the loads and loads of perverted jokes you can make about a group with the word "juice" in its name... But I'm above such bawdy humor! Get thee to 4chan if you wish to seek out crude humor of that nature! Anyways, Juice=Juice has been a rather juicy topic among the Hello! Project fandom mainly because for the first time in four years, a new group is being introduced into the H!P lineup. That's kind of a huge deal; hopefully JuJu won't suffer the same fate as S/mileage though and get screwed over by a series of unnecessary and unfortunate lineup changes. Again, that's an idea long in the future and hopefully we'll never have to experience that with this new group. Anyways, a lot of people, myself included, have been crossing their fingers and hoping that H!P would come out with a new group because it would bring a nice and refreshing change. A new group means a new style, a new look, new members, new songs, all of which can be distinguished from the current H!P groups. And to make things even better, Juice=Juice is a new group that consists mainly of Kenshuusei that have been lingering to debut in H!P for a variety of time. With fan favorites like Miyamoto Karin and Otsuka Aina along with newcomers like Kanazawa Tomoko and Uemura Akari, the member lineup looked promising too. I think everyone was on the edge of their seats to see and hear just how this new group would turn out. Would Juice=Juice be able to live up to all the hype and high expectations placed upon it? After all, potential didn't always mean that the payoff would be worthwhile. What if Juice=Juice burst with failure much like an overripe orange bursts upon splatting onto the ground?

Luckily, I don't think Juice=Juice is going to have that problem.

Believe me, I was a tad bit skeptical when Tsunku described Juice=Juice as a group that would be true to themselves and try to adopt a "cool and sexy attitude." Cool and sexy, huh? So Miyamoto Karin and Takagi Sayuki are supposed to look cool and sexy? Good luck trying to pull that off! I didn't want to say I was completely against the idea of a more mature and cool group but with the lineup and the fruity theme of the group, I wasn't sure how it would be executed, especially when it came to the group's music. After hearing a  concert rip of Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne (aka the song with the really long title), I still wasn't completely sold. But when I got my hands on a clearer and better quality rip, Juice=Juice's first song started to grow on me. I think part of Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne's appeal is that it sounds different from the songs the other H!P groups are releasing right now. With Momusu riding on the electropop wave, S/mileage fading away from my view, and Berryz being Berryz, it's kind of refreshing to hear this type of sound. I almost want to say Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne could be a C-ute song since it does have a fairly sensual vibe to it. But I feel like this song is more playful than C-ute's sexy direction, more... fun. And I think that's what I like about the tone of this song; it's a nice combination of fun and mature. The song isn't PyokoPyoko Ultra levels of cuteness yet it also isn't Kimagure Princess levels of maturity either; it balances itself perfectly. When the song wants to sound mature, it does! Particularly in the chorus. I think the instrumental though is where the playful aspect of the song really emerges, mainly in that flipping awesome saxophone. I said in another post that I love saxophones and their versatility, they make a song sound badass, cheesy, mature, retro, fun a whole variety of sounds and styles. Sure, you can do that with other instruments but the saxophone just adds a certain level of flair to a song!

Those opening saxophone notes for Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne were what grabbed me and that's good. A great song should have the ability to get the listener interested within the opening notes and/or verse and that saxophone just bursting in sets a level of energy for the song. From then on, the song is upbeat and really energetic but it also maintains an air of coolness. The song actually reminds me a lot of Morning Musume's Sexy Boy ~Soyokaze ni Yorisotte~ only with the para-para instrumental replaced by a saxophone and the annoying background vocals cut. Honestly, there's only one aspect of Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne that I'm kind of iffy about and unfortunately it's kind of a big aspect: the vocals. For such a maturely and borderline-sensual song, some of the girls of Juice=Juice sound, well, adorable! And in another song that would work great but in this song, it does kind of feel out of place. Even Karin, whose voice I adore, sounds a little bit strange in some of her solos like her voice was taken from another lighter cuter song and thrown into this one. Same goes for Aina, especially Aina. I don't know what happened; she sounded great live but in this song she's sounds even more nasally than Fukuda Kanon! And Tagaki Sayuki's high-pitched voice doesn't work well in this song either. Let me emphasize that I'm not saying anyone sounds bad in Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne (well... maybe Aina). In fact, all the girls have nice voices but some of those voices sound out of place in this song! I think to really carry a song like Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne, you need stronger voices; I could see a group like C-ute pulling off this song or maybe even Platinum-era Morning Musume. I will say Kanazawa Tomoko's voice works great in this song and so does Uemura Akari's but I don't hear her voice enough.

Honestly though, the flaws in Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne don't take much away from my enjoyment of the song. The song may be a little too mature-sounding considering the age average of Juice=Juice, but I don't think that's a huge problem. The more I listen to Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne, the more it grows on me; I could easily see it becoming one of my favorite songs by the end of the year! Overall, I think this song is a promising start for this new Hello! Project group; it stands out and has a lot of punch to it. That's not something I can say about that other H!P group that was composed of Eggs- oh sorry, am I beginning to sound bitter again? My apologies! Now I'm interested to see what future songs Juice=Juice is going to get; I know Tsunku said he wanted to present them as a cool and sexy group but still. That's only an intention and who knows? Maybe the group's image will evolve over time, much like Morning Musume's did along with S/mileage's... um... de-evolution? I actually am kind of curious to see how Juice=Juice will continue handling the "cool and sexy" image but I'd also like it if they experimented with other styles, maybe something happier and lighter! Right now I feel like there are so many possibilities for this new group and Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne is just the start. And hopefully this is the start of a group that I'll really enjoy in Hello! Project. I love the lineup, I love the style and I love the potential. I know they're releasing another indies single, Samidare Bijo ga Samideru, but that's only going to be released at some H!P Kenshuusei event. It may leak but I doubt it's going to get too much limelight shined on it anyways. Still, if it does leak to the general public, I won't be complaining!

When it comes to the PV for Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne, I actually didn't think there would be one. I hadn't heard much about it. But much to my pleasant surprise, this song did get a PV? But is it a good PV? Or does it blow like S/mileage's current group chemistry? Let's find out!

Wow. Six seconds in this video already reminds me of another H!P PV.

Nice to see you again, set from Mano Erina's Onegai Dakara!

But who cares? Because Juice=Juice is in the house and they brought JAZZ HANDS! YEAH!

And now they're doing half of the walk like an Egyptian pose too!

I guess UFP was in a particularly cheap mood when shelling out the budget for this PV...

Seriously, look at that individual shot. That's about as barren a close-up you can get!

Look at Yuka's puppy dog eyes. She's adorable!

Oh, Karin. You poor dear. J-pop's formidable nemesis, the Evil Engrish, strikes again!

Snazzy dance move is snazzy! Just like the equally snazzy saxophone!

Borrowing dance moves from Perfume's Glitter?

I like your style, Juice=Juice!

I'll just say right now I'm starting to like Tomoko; not only can she sing, her expressions in this PV actually fit the song!

Pity you can't hug any real boy thanks to the dating restriction, huh girls?

I love Karin and all but man, she looks so awkward in this PV.

You know, even though this set is really barren from the obvious lack of budget, I do kind of like its simplicity.

It's a shame I didn't see/hear much of Akari in this PV. She looks really good on camera!

I think it's weird how in the dance shot, the girls look and move really confidently...

...but in the close-ups they look awkward as fuck.

Who's got spirit? JUICE=JUICE DOES! Who's got no spirit! S/MILEAGE!

Oooh, a move from DIY's Fore Fore ~Forest for Rest~ A nice choice!

Even if the DIY girls have better legs than you do.

It wouldn't be an H!P PV without a random and gratuitous body shot, would it?

Thank you, Akari, for not looking terrified and/or confused in this PV.

You should take some facial tips from her, Sayuki!

Yeah, can all the close-ups just be of Akari and Tomoko?

Karin's face here is similar to mine when I saw the GIF of Tsunku's flower-covered junk!

And the PV ends with absolutely no fruit references. I gotta say I'm a little bummed about that...

First of all, I think we should all take a moment to appreciate the fact that this is not a cheap and tacky PV with a bunch of editing effects that look like they were swiped from Photoshop. Seriously, I've been worried for ages that the dreadful mess of special effects from some of Morning Musume's recent PVs are going to leak over into other group's PVs. So while Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne certainly doesn't have a tacky PV, it definitely has a cheap PV. Then again, what do you expect from the Mr. Krabs of J-pop companies? I think I did pretty strongly consider that Juice=Juice's first PV would probably be cheap (if they even got one at all) but as always, I was also hoping that by some miracle more than $20 would be used to make the group's first PV. I've really got to stop doing that pesky thing called hoping, don't I? For the most part, I've learned to keep my expectations low when it comes to Hello! Project PVs but I mean, come on. Don't you wanna splurge just a little bit on your new group's first PV? You don't have to recreate Thriller or anything but just a little something to give it some... some juice! Yeah, when I say this is a bare bones PV, I really mean it is a bare bones PV. There are two shots a la typical H!P PV format and that's it. You get some varying cinematography and different levels of close-ups in the individual shots but that's it. It is truly one of the simplest, most barren PVs I have seen from Hello! Project. There is next to nothing in either one of these shots too; the dance set is a white stage and the close-ups are a black backdrop. Outside of the accessories the girls are wearing, there's little color in this PV. There's honestly not much of anything in this PV; no props, no special lighting effects, no tacky edits. Honestly, the lack of anything in this PV is kind of jarring, especially for a group like H!P. Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne is simple to the point it's minimalistic.

Right now I'm not sure if I find the minimal style of Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya sleek or just boring. I remember watching the PV for the first time and waiting and waiting for something interesting to pop up but nothing ever did. There's just not much to talk about with this PV. There's a dance and there are some close-ups. That is literally all this PV has to offer. So while yes, this is a PV that doesn't have much going for it in terms of eye-catching imagery, at least it isn't tacky as hell. Remember, Hello! Project isn't notorious for just making cheap PVs; they're notorious because they make tacky PVs. The kind of PVs with cheap costumes that look like rejects from the Halloween stores that pop up at malls around October and sets that look like something taken out of a theme park from the eighties. What I'm trying to say is Hello! Project PVs have a tendency to look cheap in the most gaudy and flashy way possible, much like the jewelry your typical douchebag wears. So for Juice=Juice to have a PV that's cheap but in a more simple and barren way is strangely kind of refreshing. Because while there's nothing good I can really say about the PV, there's nothing about the PV that actively makes me want to bang my head against my keyboard. The shots are done well and while the set is bland, there's nothing bad about it. It's just a white-colored backdrop and white ceiling. I will say the one thing the PV does have going for it is a strong dance; I think the dance for Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne was choreographed well and with such a minimalistic set, a lot of my focus drifts towards the dance. I'm not one to notice dances outside of Perfume's, but I think the girls did a good job expressing the tone of the song through the dance.

Unfortunately, I can't say the same thing about the close-up shots. The thing with the Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya PV is that because the visuals are so simple, it's up to the girls to make the PV interesting. And during the dance, they succeed in that. Like I said, I like the dance and how sharp it was. But when the close-ups start appearing, that's when the PV starts getting awkward. The fact that none of the girls in Juice=Juice have ever been in a PV before is never more painstakingly obvious in the close-up shots. Two-thirds of the girls in the PV look either awkward or uncomfortable or both. The only girls that actually look good in these close-up shots are Akari and Tomoko, especially Akari. For the other four girls, it varies on levels of awkward with each girl. Sayuki and Karin are vying for the title of Most Awkward Close-ups though; seriously, why did both these girls look so freaked out? It was like they didn't know what emotions to make and were internally freaking out over said fact that they didn't know what to do. Any movement they try to do only feels forced and awkward, like they don't know what they're supposed to do. The close-ups were probably my least favorite part of the PV just because of how awkward girls like Yuka and Karin looked. Their facial expressions didn't match the cool and mature vibe of the song at all. For that reason, part of me hopes that for whatever PV is next for Juice=Juice, the girls will have a better idea of how to act on camera and that they'll be more comfortable. Beyond the close-ups, the rest of Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya is fine with me. Although the PV is simplistic and can get boring after awhile, the dance is nice and it's just nice to see some of the Kenshuusei girls actually getting to do something with their talents beyond lingering in the background forever. I'm still looking forward to seeing what lies in store for the future of Juice=Juice and how their next single will turn out!

And now it's time for the mini-idol smackdown that no one asked for! Which group had a better independent debut? Juice=Juice or S/mileage?

I know it's a little unfair to compare two different groups from two different eras in Hello! Project but I also feel like a comparison would be interesting. I think S/mileage and Juice=Juice parallel each other a lot; both were formed from the Kenshuusei/Eggs of H!P, both started out with indies singles and both got a lot of hype around the time they were formed. Of course, S/mileage's former position as the shiny new toy of H!P has now been replaced by Juice=Juice. But I'm certain that back around their debut, S/mileage was the bomb. Hell, even I like their indies songs and I wasn't even around when they came out! I'd really been getting in to S/mileage around 2011 so when the graduations and auditions were announced, it was like I had missed out on this really awesome party and had to attend the really lame after-party that no one cared about. But I will say of the four indies singles S/mileage released, aMa no Jaku was always my least favorite; it's by no means a bad song but it's just a little too slow for my tastes. Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne is just a much more entertaining song to listen to and has a lot going for from the tone to that bitchin' saxophone. But while I do think Juice=Juice got a better first song, I definitely think S/mileage got a better first PV. The aMa no Jaku PV had great outfits, nice sets, a variety of different shots, and some nice locations; in terms of H!P, it's was very nice, almost high-budget PV. By H!P standards, that is... Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne is so simple that it borders on dull even though the dance is pretty cool. aMa no Jaku just had a better budget and a better concept; then again, 2009 seemed to be a year when H!P PVs looked a little more high-budget than they do now. So the winner of this idol smackdown is... Juice=Juice based on the music and S/mileage based on the visuals. I think that's a nice draw!

So overall, I'm gonna give Juice=Juice's debut song and PV four out of five apples! Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne is a standout song with a catchy saxophone and beat. I like the mature sound it has and I think it's a strong song to debut with! The PV is nothing special (and I mean literally, it's a barren dance shot and equally barren close-up) but the PV isn't tacky or anything. My advice is just to skip the PV and listen to the song! That's what I've been doing!