Under the Sea is Momoiro Clover Z

Okay, can someone explain to me what the hell is going on with Momoiro Clover Z?

It's like just when I decided to get into them, just when I decided to open up my heart and enjoy MomoClo, shrieking voices and all, they got... boring.

I mean, look at that single cover, that looks like something Dorothy Little Happy would release, not Momoiro Clover Z. Do you guys remember how when I last reviewed Momoiro Clover Z, I talked about how I was a little skeptical of all the criticism of them declining in quality? Well... those criticizers may have been right. The Momoiro Clover Z of today is definitely from the Momoiro Clover Z of the Battle and Romance era. But different doesn't always mean bad! Even idol groups can evolve (albeit it's probably a lot more calculated) and change their style, and that's clearly what's been going on with Momoiro Clover Z. The only problem is they're evolving into a much more toned down, smooth-around-the-edges group. The best and worst part of Momoiro Clover Z is how chaotic they are. Sure, their vocals sound like nails on a chalkboard, but musically speaking, their songs are always so chaotically entertaining, that it's kind of endearing. That and their weird, nonsensical music videos were what made MomoClo eventually grow on me. After I reviewed 5th Dimension, their follow-up single, Gounn had a great music video, but the song was a little boring. Now here we are at Naitemo Iin da yo.

And by god, this song is boring.

I have one simple rule when it comes to music: don't bore me. Oh, don't get me wrong, a terrible song is a terrible song. Hello Kitty by Avril Lavigne is a terrible song. But at least it's memorable. At least it leaves an impression on me, even if it's one of disgust and irritation. When I listen to music, I do it to evoke feelings and ideas, and a boring song doesn't do that. Naitemo Iin da yo is a boring song. It sounds like it's going to be epic a la Neo Stargate in the beginning, and even into the verse, but that's a sucker punch into a chorus so generic you could swap it with an AKB48 chorus. The thing is I feel like there are parts where Naitemo Iin da yo could be a really great song. Like there's this surprisingly cool saxophone break in the bridge between the second and last chorus. And there are parts of the song that carry this feeling of epicness, like the opening. But that potential is squandered by the fact that the chorus and verses of Naitemo Iin da yo sound like they came from two different songs. And the chorus, what is usually the biggest, most memorable part of your typical pop song is so generic. Okay, it's not the most generic thing I have heard, but it is the most generic thing I have heard from Momoiro Clover Z. This is the group that had Pinky Jones, Wani to Shampoo, Mugen no Ai for crying out loud! Hearing them sound this boring is... like being in an episode of The Twilight Zone.

Maybe the reason Naitemo Iin da yo is so mundane is because it's the theme song for a movie. And you know, movie themes can be hit or miss! Like Perfume compromised their technopop sound for the ridiculously light and kid-friendly Mirai no Museum or as I like to call it, The Doraemon Song. Naitemo Iin da yo is the theme song for Akumu-chan: The Movie or in English, My Little Nightmare: The Movie. Now MomoClo previously did the theme song for the television show the movie is based off of; that song turned out to be Saraba, Itoshiki Kanashimitachi-yo. Which is a good song. So this still doesn't make any sense! And from the summary I read on Wikipedia, Akumu-chan seems like a pretty neat television show. It sounds like it's got drama, action, fantasy, horror, the kind of television show where the stakes are high! I don't know if that's true, but Naitemo Iin da yo doesn't sound like the kind of song that brings to my mind drama, action, fantasy, or horror. I don't know what to make of this song. It isn't good, it isn't bad, it isn't weird, it isn't anything that I'd expect from Momoiro Clover Z. So yes, Naitemo Iin da yo is different for MomoClo, but only because it is so painfully normal for them.

The thing is... the girls don't actually sound that bad in Naitemo Iin da yo. One of MomoClo's weak points has always been their vocals, but here they sound pretty decent. The squeak comes back at certain points (like the chorus), but individually, they all sound frighteningly passable. Even Kanako and Ayaka's voices aren't anywhere near as cacophonic as they've been in some of their previous songs. I mean, don't get me wrong, the vocals aren't anywhere near as good as say, Tokyo Girls' Style's or Fairies. But for Momoiro Clover Z, they're... better. And that scares me too. But despite the fact that the girls of MomoClo sound not-terrible in Naitemo Iin da yo, they don't have enough vocal power to pull off the truly epic song that Naitemo Iin da yo is trying to pass itself off as. You need someone like Mizuki Nana, she's got the pipes to pull off cheesy epic anime songs. Momoiro Clover Z does not. I don't now, I don't know what else I can really say about Naitemo Iin da yo other than it's big pile of nothing. There's nothing that stands out about it other than the fact that for Momoiro Clover Z it is embarrassingly normal. I don't now what the hell happened with Momoiro Clover Z on this single, but whatever it is, I hope it gets fixed by the time their next release rolls around.

Oh well, if there's something I can count on with Momoiro Clover Z, it's a weird, interesting PV. Even though Gounn was an average song, it had a really cool, fascinating PV that was fun to pick apart. And the promotional images for Naitemo Iin da yo look pretty cool. Maybe the PV will involve underwater sea goddesses or something crazy like that. Just something to make the song interesting... anything... oh god, please let the PV for Naitemo Iin da yo be interesting.

Okay, a futuristic room... that can be interesting. Now utilize it!

Wow, they're showing us a clip from Akumu-chan: The Movie! Boy, I didn't know Momoiro Clover Z was being featured in it!

Why are they all dressed like Christmas presents? It's a little early for their holiday PV.

So MomoClo's now doing underwater rituals in Wonderland. Okay then.

And now we're underwater! What happened to that futuristic room???

This is Kitagawa Keiko, main character of the Akumu-chan series. She also appeared in a TV Special as the 6th member of MomoClo.

And this is her costar, Kimura Manatsu.

Why are they in this music video? Why do you think, to promote the movie of course.

Okay, these outfits looked a little bit cooler in the promo pic. Here, they look very costume-y.

Boy, I didn't know that clouds and the sun existed underwater! This is mind-blowing!

There's a lot of power-posing in this dance. I can't complain, it makes screencapping easier!

For a PV by Momoiro Clover Z set underwater not much is happening.

Okay, new dance shot, I guess that's different-

Wait a minute, is that the dance set from Shabondama!?

Oh look, these two again. Still running, I see. From what? Who knows!

MomoClo, what are you doing here!? Go back to the sea!

I admit these close-ups are prettier but very... serious. And normal. And not-weird.

Mmkay, now they're singing at school. Great. Very interesting.

Ooh, now they're running through a school. And it's raining. Dunno why. Don't really care why either.

Now I'm not a professional writer, but in common storytelling, if you want to draw you audience in it helps to show what your characters are running from.

Can we get like a giant octopus in this shot or something?

Do these two ever take a break from running!? Surely they need a water break by now!

Oh good, they finally made it out of that building. Because I was so invested.

Who the hell are these kids?

What the hell is MomoClo doing here?

Why the hell did they steal Perfume's apples?

How the hell are- oh, forget it.

Ah, I contributed nothing to this PV. Now give me an Oscar!

We contributed nothing to our own PV. Now give us a #1 single already!

So... was this all a dream?

Thank you, future room, for serving no purpose other than to bookend the PV!

What in the wide world of sports did I just watch? This PV is confusing. Not confusing in the fun, "I have no idea what's going on but I'm having fun!" confusing. In fact, I wish the PV for Naitemo Iin da yo was confusing in that way. At least that would be more entertaining! I am not sure what the producers were trying to convey with Naitemo Iin da yo. When I saw the promotional image released, I thought that the PV would be underwater-themed. And it was. Kind of. But man, that idea was really underused. I mean, you can do so much with an underwater environment. And the way MomoClo's PVs can take concepts and twist them into the craziest directions, I thought they'd do the same thing for Naitemo Iin da yo. But the underwater setting is pretty much only used for the dance shot. The rest of the PV is devoted to either showing the girls in a school building, the two main characters from the movie, or the girls dancing in an other water-esque set. How are any of these scenes connected? Does it have something to do with water? What about the futuristic set in the beginning and that weird ritual with the apples? Why does nothing make sense in such a boring way? I practically need an instruction manual to figure out what means what in this PV.

Would watching the Akumu-chan drama help me figure this PV out? I know the basic summary of the drama is that Kitagawa Keiko is this teacher who's really apathetic until this new student played by Kimura Manatsu. And this new student dreams of terrible events set to happen in the future. So the teacher and student spend the series trying to prevent these disasters from happening. And that is a really cool concept. Maybe the drama is better than the PV. Actually, it probably is. The PV for Naitemo Iin da yo is all over the place. I think if the producers wanted to include the main actresses from the PV, they should have either minimized the scenes with MomoClo in them, or just create two separate PVs, one featuring the actresses and their story and the other featuring MomoClo. Trying to interweave these two together makes the final result jumbled and clunky. I kind of get the beginning where the two actresses are sleeping, since that ties in to the concept of the drama. But everything else? Why are they running through hallways all the time? What does MomoClo have to do with any of this? What's the point of having the girls be underwater? Does that tie into the lyrics? Are the other students at the end cast members of the show? I feel like this PV was just a big giant ploy to get me to watch the show and buy tickets to see the movie. Which I can't anyways because I don't live in Japan.

What could have made the PV for Naitemo Iin da yo cooler would be more supernatural elements. For a PV that features the girls dancing underwater, everything is surprisingly mundane. The only really surreal part is the ritual at the beginning with the apples then the girls showing up at the end with those apples appearing on that giant tree. And yet there are a bunch of really cool ideas that are shown in this PV, but none of them are ever explored or utilized to their fullest potential. Like that futuristic room in the beginning. We never see that again until the end of the PV. Why did they feel the need to include that room? Then it shows the teacher and student running, but what are they running from? Why are they running? I get that this is a PV and that they don't always wrap everything up in a sensical way, but if you're gonna throw out these ideas, then I'm gonna expect some kind of explanation behind why. But instead, a lot of these interesting ideas, like showing MomoClo running through a classroom in the rain, are just glazed over so we can get to the next idea that won't be fully explored. I'm not sure if Naitemo Iin da yo was trying to tell a story or just incorporate elements from the drama into the PV. Either way, the final result is a meandering mess.

What made Gounn such a fun PV was that all the imagery in it felt like it was there for a reason. The PV revolved around Buddhism, so the PV was rife with Buddhist imagery. I think Naitemo Iin da yo had a better budget than some of MomoClo's older PVs, but their older PVs at least explored concepts in a cohesive manner. I'd rather take something like Mirai Bowl or Mugen no Ai over Naitemo Iin da yo. When you come down to it, do the girls really do anything in this PV other than dance? Okay, they sit down at desks and run through rain and perform a ritual but other than that, what else do they do in this PV other than dance and look pretty in their close-ups? I can't see any of the girls' personalities in this PV. They're all so generically serious. And maybe that's because the song is serious, or because they're not given any opportunities to utilize their personalities. You could have switched them out with any other idol group, and I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. In the end, I don't know what to make of the PV for Naitemo Iin da yo any more than I do the song. There are some visual effects that are cool, but visuals don't make up for the aimless storyline, lack of MomoClo-ness, and general feeling that I'm watching a prolonged advertisement for Akumu-chan: The Movie.

All in all, Naitemo Iin da yo feels like wasted potential. Two-and-a-half apples of wasted potential. I don't know what Momoiro Clover Z was going for with this PV, but I felt like I was reviewing a different idol group. Maybe they'll get a better single next time.

I Sing the Heart Electric

Well, it's that time of year again! Right on schedule, AKB48 has released their fall single and I've started crying over the knowledge that their Janken single is inevitably going to suck! But at least I have the fall single to enjoy, because the fall single is always the best of their yearly A-sides, right? Right!?

Surprisingly, I really liked Koisuru Fortune Cookie. I know I didn't review the PV for it (well I did an Idol Smackdown featuring it so I guess I kind of did...?) but were I to review it, I'd have given the song three-and-half apples out of five. And I'd probably have given the PV three, but that's a subject for an entirely different blog post. What I'm trying to get at is for most of 2013, I've kept my hopes and expectations pretty low for AKB48. Their first two singles of the year sucked, but the release of KFC gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, they were finally starting to get not-sucky music again! That anticipation was only fueled by the prospective release of their fall single. Anyone who follows the group know that the fall single tends to be a little bit different, usually more serious sounding, but also deviating from the typical song styles and sounds that a lot of AKB48 A-sides fall into. Beginner, one of these fall singles, is one of my favorite AKB48 songs!

UZA on the other hand, is my least favorite of the fall songs. I don't think it's a bad song, but it was still pretty lifeless-sounding. So obviously a fall single doesn't guarantee 100% awesomeness. Still I crossed my fingers and hoped for a half-decent sounding song. And Aki-P answered me with Heart Electric. Or Heart Ereki. I prefer the English romanization. The first interesting tidbit about Heart Electric that I found was the center for the song was going to be Kojima Haruna. Since Aki-P has a tendency to write songs based on the centers for each one, I couldn't deny I was curious to hear how Heart Electric would sound, especially since Harunyan's other singles where she centered were Yuuhi wo Miteiru ka? and Romance, Irane. I got my first listen of Heart Electric during the Janken concert, but as always, I like to reserve my final judgement for a clear-quality version of the song. And now that I have that, I can finally give my verdict on where Heart Electric stands as a fall single! Does it suck as bad as UZA? Is it so amazing that it tops Beginner? Or is it somewhere in the middle along side Kaze wa Fuiteiru?

Honestly... there's not much I can say about this song.

I mean, Heart Electric is not a bad song. In fact, compared to some of AKB48's recent music, it's pretty good. I'd take it over So Long! or Eien Pressure. Heart Electric is more-or-less a pop-rock song. Not Scandal levels of pop-rock, more of a pop song that happens to include a lot of guitar. I said before the it sounds like a no3b song, and I still stand by that comparison. And that does make sense; Harunyan is after all a member of no3b. But is it a good no3b song that it sounds like? Eh... I guess so? I don't know, I'm getting any strong negative reactions from Heart Electric so that's a plus. But I'm also not getting any strong positive reactions. It's just one of those AKB48 songs that... exists. It's listenable and all, but I'm probably not going to remember it by next year, let alone listen to it that much. I don't know, I think the more I listen to Heart Electric, the more it grates on me. There's something about the vocal arrangement that sounds... I don't want to say whiny but something similar to that. The chorus in particular just sounds way too grating after the second or third time. It's almost like the girls are shouting instead of singing in the song.

I will say that Harunyan's voice sounds fine, which is good since she has a decent number of solos. Better than Paruru would have... Gee, I'm sorry guys, normally I try to give as much of a fleshed out opinion as possible of any of the songs I review, but I've got nothing for Heart Electric. I can't even really rant about this song, because it's not that bad or unoriginal. I guess I can say that it's the least serious of all the AKB48 fall singles they've released. Not as melancholic as Kaze wa Fuiteiru, edgy as Beginner, or hardcore dance-able as UZA. The song it actually reminds me the most of is Romance, Irane. Something about the tone of each strong strikes me as a very similar. So yeah. That's Heart Electric. A decent song by all means but not decent enough for me to generate a solid opinion of the actual song. I don't know, I guess at the end of the day it's a pretty all right song. Besides, at least Harunyan finally got to center a song!

The real reason I want to review Heart Electric is because anything I review by AKB48 always gets a boatload of views because I want to talk about the PV! Because if there's one thing I can expect from the fall single, it's a creative and interesting PV that often becomes one of my favorite PVs each year! Right? Right!?

Oh joy, the "band" is back. Because it worked so well in Give Me Five!

Yet they still haven't utilized the fact that Sayanee can play the effing guitar.

...is their band really called the G. Fingers?

I'm sorry, the G. Fingers? It sounds like a double entendre from a 1960s porn movie!

Good to see the band looks just as awkward as the last time! At least the outfits are snazzy though!

And I can always count on Paruru's facial expressions to be unintentionally entertaining!

I was kind of hoping Sasshi would center this song...

But look! MIICHAN'S BACK IN SENBATSU! And she's ADORABLE!

Does the "G" in G. Fingers stand for Gratuitous pointing?

I will say Yukirin does all right on drums. She's nowhere near as good as say, Rina from Scandal, but she still at least looks into it.

Oh, look! Now they're doing The Airplane! NYOOM!

Man, think of how unintentionally hilarious it would be if they pointed with their middle fingers.

I guess the dance is supposed to emulate 60s go-go dancers? I don't know, it's kinda awkward.

You gotta love that Windows Movie Maker editing!

Sassy Miichan is sassy.

The whole set does give off a very retro 60s vibe...

...but this dance set looks really cheap, especially considering AKB48 isn't exactly strapped for cash.

And this is the part where Haruna... I mean Michelle introduces everyone else.

Yeah, I don't get the English names but I don't think the members of AKB48 do either!

I have to admit, Michelle... Haruna... she makes a very nice center!

Oh hey, clips from the Drama Version of the PV!

I'm sure it's utterly captivating and has the best storyline ever. All the AKS Dramas do.

Enough of that compelling drama! It's time for more finger pointing!

Jurina got bangs? Holy crap. I didn't even notice until now...

Okay, the dancing in this PV ranges from awkward but groovy to just awkward.

Something tells me the "G. Fingers" they're wearing are going to catch on.

Whatever, the PV's over!

Well, first Haruna's dramatically got to strike a final pose.

Annnnnd I gained absolutely nothing from watching this. Good to know!

So I feel the need to point out something about AKB48's PVs from last year. You guys remember 2012, right? Acchan graduated, the world ended, all that jazz! Yeah yeah yeah, what I'm getting at is even though I may have dislike a majority of the A-sides AKB48 released last year, I can't deny that at least the PVs accompanying said A-sides were interesting. The three highlights of that year were most definitely the PVs for Manatsu no Sounds good!, Gingham Check, and UZA. Manatsu was a little choppy with its tone and mood, but overall the PV had a very shocking and attention-grabbing story, combining guts and gore with beaches and sunshine. Gingham Check was a clever homage to several popular figures from Japanese film, with each girl of the Senbatsu playing her own quirky character in the PV. And UZA was a glorious display of Halloween themes, along with a powerful dance, together making up for the underwhelming quality of the actual song. And while Eien Pressure had cheesy special effects and a hokey storyline, even that was charming in its own weird, low-budget way. The only subpar PV from 2012 was Give Me Five! and that was mainly because the members of AKB48 were constrained to playing as a band, with many of the members being unfamiliar with their instruments.

So what's the lesson to be learned from Give Me Five! If you said don't force idols into doing things they don't know how to do... you're wrong! Oh no, clearly the formula was just off when they did Give Me Five! Instead, all we need to do is switch out some of the Senbatsu members, add some backup dancers, switch Acchan with Haruna, and change the band name from "Baby Blossom" to "The G. Fingers." Duh! Or at least that's the conclusion AKS must have come to when they got the brilliant idea to re-use the band gimmick fro another AKB48 single. Gosh, the sheer innovation of such a decisions makes my heart beat faster... or maybe that's just the sheer stupidity of  reusing a poorly executed gimmick from a single released over a year ago!

Yeah, I was not enthusiastic when I saw the the band gimmick was going to be used for Heart Electric's PV. I didn't like it the first time, and I don't like it now. I admit, it's slightly better in this PV because there's a little less emphasis on it but do I have to write in big glowing purple letters than making people play instruments they don't know how to play is AWKWARD. It's like watching a first-year piano student try to play Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata on the piano! You can tell they're trying their darnedest but if they don't have the skill to play that wonderful and ethereal sonata, it's only going to end in disaster! The same can be applied to AKB48. They're idols. Dancing idols. Marketable idols. If I want to see idols play instruments, I will go watch Scandal or Silent Siren. AKB48 can stick to singing and dancing and still make a boatload of money. That is completely fine with me. And what the hell kind of band name is The G. Fingers!? Like I said it sounds like some dirty sex position... or maybe that's my desensitized, depraved mind latching onto a sexual mindset because of my own subconscious. Who cares? The name SUCKS!

 Okay... I need to calm down. I don't mean to be flipping my shit over a silly little PV but I just really have problems with this PV, and the band just happens to be one of the biggest. Don't get me wrong, there are other problems with this PV. Like how completely and utterly dull it is. For an AKB48 PV this looked... cheap. The set where the band played looked all right but the dance set? My god, I expect that from Morning Musume not the most financially successful idol group on the market right now. This is the kind of set I could understand if they were still unpopular but... come on. Is this really the best you can get? I mean, what's been up with all the AKB48 PVs this year? Other than Sayonara Crawl, all the other ones have just been... not that good. They're not creative, interesting, at least when all the A-sides from last year sucked, the PVs made for them were good enough that they at least distracted me from each song's suckiness!

What's my solution to this problem? We'll get Joseph Kahn to direct EVERYTHING!

I mean, the guy's not doing that much, right? Just directing things! We'll just somehow convince him that he should direct more AKB48 PVs and there! Problem solved! To say I am underwhelmed by the PV for Heart Electric is an understatement. Like I thought Koisuru Fortune Cookie was a pretty underwhelming but compared to this PV, it's a fucking fiesta. The only thing I think Heart Electric did well was making Haruna the center. I don't know why Aki-P just up and decided to make Harunyan center for a PV, but she basks in the limelight like a pro. And I guess the outfits for this song were all right, but they looked a little too much like marching band uniforms. Something else I don't get: why the English nicknames for everyone? What point did they have being used for only this song? Because I watched the drama version; still no valid reason to give all the girls English nicknames.

Speaking of which, the drama version adds absolutely nothing to this PV. It's just another cliched drama PV with little to no plot that even I can make out without the help of subtitles. In a nutshell: the girls need to do something together! But one girl doesn't want to do it! Then through the power of friendship, everyone convinces the girl to do the thing with them! Then they perform their song and finito. You can literally apply that plot to every "drama version" or at least all the ones I've watched. But yeah, the drama version bores me almost as much as the regular version. What the hell happened with this PV? Usually for every fall PV, I can always look forward to it having a distinct and interesting theme or storyline but this? It's a lame attempt at being retro that's too lacking in charm to have any sort of lasting appeal. And to think I was actually kind of excited for this release. The PV for Heart Electric is a huge disappointment; it's so uninspired. The sets are dull and cheap-looking, the revival of the band was a poor decision, and there's nothing that stands out in this entire PV. Man, you'd think I'd have learned by now to stop making any expectations for AKB48.

Two and half apples. That's my overall rating for Heart Electric. The song is all right, not the greatest song but listenable. The PV however is a huge disappointment, especially for AKB48. I found it to be completely boring, and should I be forced to watch it again, I'd still probably find it to be completely boring. Man, there goes my last expectation that AKB48 will get a really good single this year. The Janken PV's gonna suck.